Well…what say you? I think the title says it all, but perhaps I am wrong?
Yeah as you can guess things with Harvard went from fine to not in the matter of a few days. I can honestly say things were going well. I introduced him to a few more friends & still no red flags. I felt like this was an actual adult relationship. He treated me well. We were having fun. Things were progressing naturally. I was…gasp…happy!
Then I started looking a little closer last week. Hmmm…over a month & I still hadn’t met anybody from his world. I don’t mean the kids, but friends, co-workers, anybody. Definite red flag waving. We know when a guy (or girl cause I’ll admit to doing it) doesn’t include you in their life there is a reason…and usually it’s cause they don’t plan on you being around long term. Even giving him a benefit of doubt of being newer here himself & it not being easy to make friends (which I fully appreciate being in the same boat), I still could see how it looked shady. Adding in a few other things…I started to wonder what going on.
A chat Friday night walking home from cocktails turned into him needing to “analyze” his thoughts & “process” before he’d respond. WTF??? He never had a problem with honesty before even when it could have used some sugar coating. Fine I will play along. Saturday was a text he had “processed” & decided my issues were him not acting boyfriendy (his word) & it wasn’t fair to me he was on this path of self rediscovery after the ex (whom they broke up a year ago & let me say…she was BAT SHIT CRAZY). Again, fine. But where does this leave us…moving forward together or what? Let’s meet later for drinks & talk is what I get back. Yes he keeps wanting to meet in public not because I am nuts, but it’s what he came from. Whatever.
So we meet up. We start talking. I feel I am the only one talking cause he has to “process” before he can respond. Ever try having a 1 sided conversation? Finally he gets caught off guard I suppose & the phrase “I am not committing” comes out. Cha-ching…an answer! Now I admit I am a bit pissed cause several times thru out I had asked if this was friends or what & he always was no he wants more than friends so we were moving forward towards relationship I thought. Why didn’t he say this at the very first dinner we went on? “oh by the way I’m not looking to commit” Wow, that wasn’t very hard! At this point I don’t have anything to say cause what can you say to that? Thus the false advertising IS lying to me. He then proceeds to talk about how people come into your lives for a reason & even if this doesn’t work out we can be friends yadda yadda yadda. At this point I start processing that 1–he didn’t care if this worked or not cause he thought we were still going to be friends & 2–he really seriously thought we could just be friends now? I said “uhhh no” to which I finally get the first actual true reaction from him cause he didn’t “process”. I am not going to hang around on the side while he gets it on with other girls in front of me. He was completely floored I was not cool with this!! I said “in fact, if we aren’t together you can lose my number for awhile. Maybe we’ll talk someday, but I guess it depends where I am at & feel like, but yeah definitely lose my number for awhile”.
So here it is a few days later & I haven’t heard a peep. Not that I expect to since I told him to disappear so I suppose I really have an answer now. I’m not sure what I feel, but I think disappointment for sure. I don’t understand why people have to lie or mislead? What for? The truth is going to come out. And don’t proclaim to be an honest person when you start out falsely advertising yourself.