Argh….there have been some definite bumps in the road lately. Therapy last week was ok, but afterwards the more I thought about it the more annoyed I got. The therapist is pointing out things I do which I totally get is the point of therapy. Except after week 2 of my flaws and the BF not having any (he hasn’t been as sharing and forthcoming like me) I’m sort of over it you know? Let’s see…I talk a lot (duh I’m paying to be there so I’m not going to be quiet), I’m controlling (not sure what that meant), men like to take care of women (being self sufficient is now bad?), I’m outgoing (HAHA fooled her I have self esteem confidence issues!), I’m a go getter (again that’s bad to have goals?). And I have probably left some off. Shit I wouldn’t date myself the way I’m looking after therapy!
But I’m looking forward to therapy tomorrow. Not in a payback asshole type of way, but let’s refocus. The BF has made me feel like a no priority dog shit on the bottom of your shoe since last week. There are a few things I want to bring up…like how saying “sorry” doesn’t mean anything if your actions don’t change. Remembering what your priorities are. I’ll say how I feel & then it’s time to zip it. Let the BF express himself to me & the therapist. Maybe he’ll see what he needs to change? Maybe he won’t? Maybe the therapist can start pointing out all his weaknesses? But it will give me some answers hopefully.