A little more processing

So after getting some random sleep and thinking some more this beautiful early morning…

I think what I see in the BF that scares me is the “look” he had last night. I can’t describe it but it’s how he looked before he split in February. I know his work has been very busy plus having the house guests and the constant party go out drinking no sleeping is catching up. And I’m afraid that even though I have stayed out of it and away from it somehow it will be me who suffers the aftermath.

When I stay there on Monday I am thinking of just saying to the BF that if he wants or needs to talk I am here to listen no judging and then move on. I think he’s bottling it all in again.

Both of us are turtles. We have our shells that not many people get past. I know I have made it thru the BF’S shell and perhaps that is also part of what scares him? I know his outer persona of “oh hey go with the flow I’m a nice guy whatever happens” is what people see, but they don’t know all the problems (trust, stress, kids) boiling underneath.

When his friends leave later this week (let’s hope they haven’t become squatters) I am still going to stay away. I am working this weekend & next weekend in addition to my regular job so I am busy. I think he’s going to need some time to be alone & decompress and maybe given space that will give us a chance???

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