I am a mess

Just like it says…I am a mess. I don’t know what happened. I felt good after that “magic” moment happened Friday night and all weekend. I felt moving forward. I felt positive.

Wait…I know what happened. The BF called Sunday night. And so yesterday the anxiety, throwing up (which causes more weight loss & people’s comments) and not sleeping returned. I creeped his FB & saw he just made friends with some random girl (who isn’t friends with anybody else we know) who states she is looking for an honest relationship & wants a 1 woman man. Ummm…bitch do you know you’re stepping in mine? All you have to do is look at his FB & it’s pictures of us all over. But who knows what she is as my imagination runs away? He claimed Sunday night he’s not seeing anybody & hasn’t been. I am so trusting & believing he wouldn’t lie perhaps I’m stupid?

I’m so full of I don’t know & I hate that. Am I hungry? Idk. Want to watch TV? Idk. Need to sleep? Idk. What do I want in life? Idk. Do I want to be with the BF? Idk.


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