The past day has been a bunch of baby steps. After hitting my ultimate low by Wednesday of the “I don’t knows” I have started getting some direction. Not sure how its going to go but it’s a direction right?
First of all I made the decision (which I have been secretly pondering for months) that I’m going to pursue finding an annual renter for my house & moving to the next city north (about 20 miles). I love my house, but right now it’s not the location for me. The friends I have made, the activities I do, the possibility of making more friends & even finding guys to date are located in the other city. It’s time to grow & not stall out. Plus I can always move back to my house if I don’t like it. So I contacted a few property managements today & have an appt next week with one.
One thing I want to be very clear about is I’m not moving due to the BF or anything. Yes now we’ll be closer, but this has nothing to do with him. What I did learn from dating him & spending so much time up there is that I do prefer that location more.
Which leads to…haven’t heard from the BF. Not sure how I feel. Part of me doesn’t care cause I’m focusing on this new step. Another part wishes he’d call. Although to be honest I wouldn’t answer. His heart & head are in a battle only he can figure out.
Another big step was yesterday I spoke to my mom. It had been almost 2 months. She sent a text and I called her after work. We talked generic things, the BF topic or the last phone call didn’t come up. I know we’ll be ok. Just sorting it thru right now.
So I’m feeling a little better today having somewhat of a “plan”. I need to purge a lot of my closet if I’m going to move. That will be a good project the next few days. I’ve also lost 30 pounds as of this morning so that will help. I can’t even guess the last time I weighed this…maybe early junior year of high school?