I feel myself wallowing. And its like Round 2. It’s been about 3 months since he split the 1st time. I had my wallow and be sad time which just as I was emerging he called. Now it’s been limbo for weeks which I am calling it. Get out of my life POS until you can figure your shit out! And even that may never happen or be good enough for me. Except now I feel like I’m starting over…back to the start of wallowing and sadness and mourning. At least this time I know it wasn’t me! And I need to get angry. Even this morning I felt myself starting to make excuses or justify his crappy behavior….what the f is wrong with me?? I think by trying to be “nice” so I don’t look crazy to mutual friends I instead have no closure or anger or moving on. Which I won’t around them but I need to get mad! I don’t deserve to be treated this way! I don’t need this POS in my life! I don’t want this kind of crap drama!

The housing hunt is sucky. I am hopefully looking at 1 after work today. Unfortunately it’s literally minutes from POS. But I can’t help he lives in the area I like. I think the biggest problem I’m going to have with housing is until my house is rented I can’t really move. And people want their rooms rented NOW. Which I get but I’m also a great roommate so it might be worth the wait. I also tried to purge my closet yesterday. A huge garbage bag later & it doesn’t even look like a dent was made. And believe me…I’m not keeping much!

Looking forward to my meeting with the property management tomorrow. I hope that will help get the ball rolling!


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