No tears on the cake

Another birthday & no crying this year!

Having 0 expectations really did make it easy for me to enjoy my birthday. The whole day was tons of folks wishing me well & reaching out. Which really means a lot to me since I have no family here. My birthday dinner was great…a really fun group came out & we had lots of laughs. It was a good time!

POS actually sent me a text first thing in the morning which did surprise me a little. He came to my dinner (so did his daughter). When we were all leaving (yeah I was a little tanked) I asked if I could come hang at his house & he was all sure. He took a shower & I was watching tv. I admit I took the moment and looked thru his phone. I have never done anything like that but I just felt I needed to be sure. I found nothing which deep down I knew I wouldn’t. I mean the inside of his house hasn’t changed…no way has any girl been there. My hair ties & water bottles are still on my side of the bed. The card I gave him for Easter is still in the bathroom. There’s too much “me” still hanging around.

We laid there for awhile watching TV and he told me about the new truck he was getting. He admitted that big purchases changes do scare him a little even though he knows it will be ok. After watching tv a little more and kind of just cuddling I asked him about his comment the week before of being horny….was it for anybody or was it cause it was me? He looked at me & immediately said it was you. We started kissing & things just went from there. Afterwards we laid there and dozed off. I felt a little unsure what I should do? Do I stay or go? Around 2am I woke up and decided to leave. He was sleeping & I don’t think he knew. Perhaps it was good to leave…let him think about it? I don’t know. I didn’t want the morning to be awkward. I didn’t hear from him today not that I expected to. And I’m not going to contact him or act clingy. Again…let him wonder a little?

I’m actually getting ready to go out. His daughter invited me out last night to go hear a singer at a bar. I don’t know if he’s coming but I want to go & it’ll be fun. I’m not quite sure what prompted the invite and I might be the only one going but I’m glad she did reach out.

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