Does a lurker scare off the good ones??

On my previous post it was commented that POS lurking around may be scaring off potential good guys. Very valid point and I have been giving it some real thought. And to be honest I have to say no I don’t think so.

First off we aren’t really hanging out or together except when we see each other at cornhole. We are socially polite there but I am to everybody. In fact this week it turns out some of the newer players who came around after the break up had no idea we ever dated. So no I don’t think any quality guys that may be at cornhole are scared off.

As for me meeting other guys online or out & about…POS isn’t chasing them off either. I’m not finding any guys that meet criteria I would want to date or have an interest in. They need to be close to my age, have a job, somewhere to live, a car, minimal ex/child drama…basically have their shit sort of together. Amazingly it seems not many fit that bill. I would then after all that need to have some kind of attraction and WANT to hang out with them more meaning some shared interests or ability to conversate. Definitely haven’t met anybody fitting that bill yet.

I do want to have a conversation or at least ask POS some questions next time I see him. I think it will help make the break. He seems to be quite happy with having me to tell things to like a girlfriend but we aren’t that…just casual friends. I’m sure he doesn’t share that info with other party friends so don’t make me special. I don’t care to hear the details anymore. As for the food tour I have set up…I’m going to ask when he said said he wanted to go was that because it sounds like a fun thing to do OR because it’s a date with me? And yes it’s a “date” type activity in my book since it involves hours of time together and not exactly cheap so not something I’d necessarily do with a friend. Then I’ll let him answer. Let’s see what he says…


2 thoughts on “Does a lurker scare off the good ones??”

  1. Would you consider the thought that your relationship with the POS even though he wouldn’t physically be around be a barrier for you to not fully commit to another guy because of what you have with POS?


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