Feeling some stress

Starting to feel some stress here. 

The house still isn’t rented and it’s been almost 2 months. I’ve even dropped the price. So much for this will be so easy to rent out. Grrr…. I’m going to talk to the property manager today about allowing dogs. I’m thinking  charge ABC per month (no pets) and if they have a dog charge XYZ per month instead. I need to have enough funds to cover what the extra insurance will cost me plus a slush fund for home damage from a dog to repair it. I’m just feeling really frustrated as the extra funds I had are starting to diminish. 

I need to do some laundry & pack after work for my trip home this weekend. I’m staying at my parents which will be ok. My dad and I are getting long fine. My mom is blah still. She’s just so negative and unhappy that I don’t want to be around that. I feel horrible saying that but it’s true. I’m not sure when she became this person…when I was with POS it was easy to brush off when she was like that cause I was busy but now it seems she’s like this 24/7 so it’s hard to avoid. I’ll go a week without calling home which is crazy but I don’t know how else to stay away from it? And it’s any topic that that brings it up so I can’t even avoid talking about things cause I don’t know what will trigger it. I’m hoping she doesn’t come with to the airport tomorrow to pick me up. 

I’m also not looking forward to the trip home cause I’m a good 30 pounds less than when everybody saw me last. Plus I’ve never really been this small size before so regardless it’s going to be a topic. How did you do it? Why’d you lose so much weight? Omg are you eating? Perhaps I’ll be honest…I threw up daily for weeks, only ate chicken noodle soup & Gatorade and had my heart smashed into pieces. Sounds awesome right?!?! Oh I also got to go to therapy my work sent me to, I now blog my feelings & I still have no idea what’s going on in my life…yay!! What happened with POS?? Gee how considerate of you to care now  and ask. Why did you move and want to rent your house? I thought you loved it? Yes because living alone in a big house is such a fun isolating experience. Yeah…I’m really looking forward to this trip home. 

I came home yesterday from the bridge walk and my roommate was there with the ex boyfriend. Which I was really baffled cause it’s been a few weeks and she’s been seeing this other guy. At least she didn’t let him spend the night when he claimed to be homeless. I wonder if he took the bags with his clothes she packed? Lol. I know I can’t really talk since my life is a mess too that I need to get a handle on. And I feel it coming. Really I do.  Baby steps I suppose. 


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