Not sure what I’m thinking

So Wednesday on my way to have dinner I stopped by POS’s house for my stuff. I said why I was there and he grabbed my books. Which I then asked when did he start lying to me? So that started a whole conversation where I pretty much said things I should have said months ago. I didn’t care…if he kicked me out or got mad didn’t matter to me. I told him he runs away from his problems and never fought for me which he didn’t like hearing but did acknowledge was true.

He did explain more of his feelings and his biggest fears which I listened and I do understand. I was like well at some point you just have to jump and have faith things will work out. I said I can’t keep waiting for him if in the end I’m waiting for nothing. He blurted out “let’s do this” and hugged me. I was a little surprised to be honest. He said when he starts to act crazy I need to slap him and I said no we just need to communicate.

He then asked about getting together to talk and stuff. I said how about we go have a date and laugh and have a good time? He said yes it’s a date. So that is tomorrow night.

I’m feeling very guarded. I want to be optimistic cause obviously I want this to work but I don’t want to get my hopes up. In fact I’m not even telling people. I’m pretty busy for the next month still so I figure if we can make it til after I come home from my reunion in October then I can start to relax a little. And being busy is good cause he’s going to see I have my own life that he needs to fit into now.

So happy it’s the weekend though! Heading to a football game tonight with friends and then on Sunday going to a soccer game with another group. I’m so sporty! Lol

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