I pushed it too much

So had a bit of a relapse end of last week. I came home feeling so good from vacation I hit the ground running 200%. Starting my diet, increased my step goal, getting caught up at work, jumping back into the social circle, the gym, you name it.

By Saturday night when I went to church I was done. After a full day that started with a 5k then girls lunch then an afternoon party before trying to cram a quick nap before getting ready for church. Yeah I was spiraling down bad & I could feel it. I got to church & just listening to the opening spiel about fear & so many things happening in the world I started crying. Which I’m not a crier so when that happens I know my body is telling me something but I’m either not listening or understanding. I called my GF after, cancelled my plans for the evening & went home to bed before 9pm.

I woke Sunday feeling refreshed & normal again. I didn’t get up at 4 am with the hamster wheels spinning 100 mph. Which had been happening again the past few days. I didn’t feel sick & throw up. Which had been happening again. And I know that’s my major signs things are getting out of hand. So I caught up on sleep which I realized I had been shorting myself all week after checking my Fitbit (that tracker is good for something’s!).

I also really self evaluated how I felt & why I spiraled. Was seeing Joe again let alone with a new lady bothering me more than I thought? One would think but honestly it didn’t! Which even surprised me. I’m being 100% real. Would I like to meet somebody & have a relationship? Sure but I have set my standards & refuse to compromise them just to not be alone. No thanks. I just wasn’t giving myself enough rest & trying to do too much. And why?? There was no reason. I don’t HAVE to keep myself busy 24/7 anymore. I am doing fine. I need to just slow down & enjoy things even if it is routine like the gym or eating or reading. Really take the time to be IN the moment instead of rushing to get it done.

So here’s to trying to take a step back. Enjoy the moments. Go with the flow. Don’t over schedule myself. Yeah that’s still a work in progress! Lol


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