Not feeling great

I’m not feeling great in a few levels. 

I’m still battling that cold whatever that I started on vacation. It’s about done but just lingering.

Emotionally I’m feeling rocky. I think I’m just over tired cause I haven’t been sleeping but my anxiety is appearing again. Last night at cornhole Joe the douche was there & drunk & hitting on this also drunk girl. Watching him in “action” is pure entertainment! But seriously like just get the fuck out of my life & stop following me/my friends around. My brother says I’m not over him if I’m letting it bother me. I said no I am over him believe me I do NOT want back with him. But why should I have to be around him? I don’t hang out with his friends. And now it turns out he’s put together a team for our new kickball league that starts this week so now every Friday I’ll also see him. WTF. I just think it sucks.

I also think it bothers me not cause I’m not over him like my brother thinks but I see it as friends not being loyal. After being stabbed in the back down here pretty good I keep my circle small & it’s hard to trust people. Don’t tell me he’s a loser douchebag that’s beneath me & you don’t like him yet keep including him in our events. I think that is what is getting my anxiety going is that I’m questioning loyalty and who I can trust. Plus it just makes it not a lot of fun. 

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