I think I’m a pretty “real” person in that whatever I say is what I’d say to your face. It makes it real easy cause I don’t have to worry about word getting back to people and so forth. So the last week for me has been rough. Because of Joe joining our kickball league (run by my brother) has stirred up my anxiety. Not because I’m not over him but cause I’m ticked my friends expect loyalty from me but don’t give it in return. Wtf. They complain about Joe. They shit talk him. Yet here he is at our stuff.
Tonight on my way home after dinner with friends I stopped by Joe’s house. Yup. Pulled in and knocked on the door. I was sort of on auto pilot trying not to panic at this point. Asked him if we could chat when he opened the door & he let me in. Apparently he was sick (that’s what you get for making out with skanks but I didn’t share that cause it wasn’t productive) so I stood back. But I said my part. Pretty much that I steered clear of him and why couldn’t he be respectful and steer clear of me and my friends. He said he wouldn’t play cornhole again or kickball after this season which I was like whatever. Now I’ll be the bitch for making you leave? I said can you be respectful cause how would you feel if I brought guys around each week & shoved it in your face?? He said he hadn’t thought about it cause he felt enough time passed but he wasn’t sure how he would react. I said try considering mine. Quit creeping me.
So who knows what will happen. He’ll probably claim to not recall any of the conversation if I call him out later. But whatever. It made me feel better and at least I know I was being true to myself saying it all to his face rather than behind his back. And controlling my actions is all I can do.