Birthday = amazeballs

My birthday was Thursday & it was simply amazing! I was so surprised by how many people took a moment to wish me well. I am so blessed to have so many wonderful friends & family in my life. 🙏😘

My day started with my coworker decorating my desk & bringing in treats including a special lunch cupcake!! After work I went to the gym where I got to be the DJ & pick all the music. 😂 My trainer had made a deal with me a few months ago as a reward so I had been compiling my song list. Some of us had a good time, but I think my trainer was dying (we don’t have the same workout music taste 😆). After the gym I then met a group of my gym friends at a craft brew place that had a food truck! Dinner was so good. And then my friend busted out these cupcakes she made. 

Holy cow awesome!!! She’s so talented. What a truly wonderful day. Again I couldn’t believe how people went out out of their way for me. 😊 AND NO TEARS!!!

Friday was a good day at work before the holiday weekend. I had kickball (and more birthday cupcakes!) & it was the playoffs. We had to play Joe’s team which ended up being a tough game. I was the 1st to score & for awhile we hung on to the lead. Then disaster broke & we fell behind. Until the end when we loaded bases & cause they walked the guy ahead of me I got an automatic walk so we ended up WINNING!!! The look on their (ok his face!) was priceless as they went from jeering laughing to realizing my walking pushed in the winning run was classic. 👊 Not to mention my brothers once again had a target on him so he never got on base. Yeah they weren’t very happy about being eliminated. What can I say…I brought the CRAZY! 😜 Our team rocked out & despite a very long next game that was crazy WE WON!! 🏆 I’m so happy after previous early eliminations to finally win. Won’t lie…it feels good. And I actually played pretty well so double win!

Today I have been a bum & slept in. Watching tv. It’s my lazy day. Meeting friends for birthday drinks at a bar tonight so I need to eventually get going.

I just have to say though this birthday was pretty darn great! Much better than I could have ever hoped & I’m feeling ready for my last year of 30s! 😁

Birthday expectations = 00

Tomorrow is my birthday 🎉 And to avoid any disappointment or getting upset I have my expectation level at ZERO. Zilch. Nada. 

Is that sad? Is it wrong I have to do that? I don’t know. I mean I would love for somebody to recognize and make a deal out of my birthday like I have done for others. Even when I’ve been dating someone they never seem to do much. Yeah I get to pick a birthday dinner. Sometimes a present. But flowers? A party? Organizing a simple get together? Yeah that stuff only happens if I do it. And let me say it gets real old doing it for yourself.

So here I am on the eve of my final bday hitting the end of my 30s. I got some sushi to go & have a quiet evening planned. Get a good nights rest & be ready to expect nothing tomorrow.

Happy birthday me 😊

Feeling back in the game

I feel like I am getting back in the game again.

First my weight is at 168 lbs. Yay me! It’s been holding there for the past week which I think is a good sign. Obviously I’m still reaching for my goal of 160, but this is definitely signs of encouragement for me. Keep staying active & really think about what I eat!!

Next off…my dating life. It’s gotten a bit of a revival recently. Online dating is a necessary evil I feel to just try to meet more people. Where else can one go? As much as I do & try to spread my social circle it seems to be with a lot of people already in relationships. I have basically been using 2 sites (Tinder & Bumble) to find matches. Thanks to Tinder this week I have 2 meet ups.

#1 was last night after my cornhole league was over he stopped by the bar for a drink. His name is Mark. We had a very nice 2 hours of chatting & hanging out. I liked him & would like to get to know him more, but there are some obstacles. He works a goofy schedule (commercial pilot) which I totally understand & he also has 4 daughters ranging from 9-12 yo (a set of twins in there). So he’s pretty busy! Plus his divorce has only been officially final for a month so even though it’s been over, it’s now freshly over you know? He admits he’s just trying to get back out there & attempt having a social life with his job/kids which I appreciate his honesty. But here’s my deal…I know what I bring to the table. I don’t want you to be with me cause I’m the 1st girl you dated after divorce or cause you had a few weird encounters online & you think I’m really normal (yeah he said that lol). I want somebody who recognizes what a catch I am, WANTS to be with me & treats me accordingly. So go out there & date some other women so you can appreciate what I have to offer (sane, employed & financially responsible for starters which many woman down here aren’t!). He said he’d like to meet again which I said sure & to stay in touch with our schedules! So we’ll see….

#2 is happening tonight. Meeting for drinks. William is closer to my age. Grew up in the Midwest also. We have texted some, but I don’t know a whole lot about him so I am curious. Looking forward to it! Then I need to make an appearance at my other cornhole league which is having an opener meet & greet tonight. Honestly I just didn’t feel like hanging out with Joe & his partner Katie (shitty girl in previous posts) for a whole evening. It makes for an awkward time (watching her hang on the married guy is weird) & I have better things to do & people to hang out with. William is going on a work trip for 2 weeks & this was our only chance to meet before. Plus I’m crazy…remember? hahaha!!!

**only 2 more days til my birthday. Gosh that 40 is getting closer….

When your ex calls you crazy 

Is it really a bad thing?? 😂😂

I mean Joe gave me his word a month ago he was done playing in our joint activities. Yesterday I spoke to him for 5 minutes to confirm. He said he was still going to play kickball. Fine don’t be a man honoring his word but no shocker. Then 30 minutes later he’s texting me (I asked who it was lol) saying he’s gonna play cornhole & kickball. Again no big surprise he lied. He just doesn’t get it. What guy wants to hang around where his ex is?? Why??? My friend told my I’m trying to reason with a 5 yo so I have to remember that. He claims I’m the one with the problem cause he’s over me. I said well I’m over you too but I don’t want to hang out with you creeper!

He then proceeded to text with me last night and this morning until he deemed me crazy. So I laughed cause now I feel like I got him all upset instead of me feeling upset. He said he’s blocking me again. Ohhhhh do I look hurt?? You contacted me dumbass. Seriously. What did I ever see in this douchebag?? I forget though he hangs out with people 20 years younger–I don’t think he’s got any friends his age (49)–so I need to talk down to that level.

And again…if you think I’m crazy then go away. Like I care what you think? I’m hoping if it’s not a fun warm place for him then maybe he’ll eventually quit. Cause we all know he’s a quitter & won’t stick around.


He got mad when I sent him this. Hahaha!!! Bonus points me!

It’s been a year… 

Since I defurnished my house, started trying to rent it, went on Craigslist for new housing & moved. Wow. It’s gone fast. And it feels like a lot has happened. I’ve moved another time since. I’ve learned a lot about who I am. I’ve put weight back on. I’ve been on & off the meds. I’ve made a new social circle(s) of friends. I’ve joined a gym (and actually like it!). I’m in therapy. I’m learning how to handle life & what I can control. I’ve learned to cut out people who aren’t beneficial to have around. I’ve done some traveling. I have actually been saving money. I’m recognizing when to have “me” time and why it’s important. I’m attempting to date again. I’m trying new things. I’m putting myself out there even if I might fail.

I guess that is a lot I’ve done the last year! Still a work in progress. Still growing. Which is good cause one should never stop.

Here’s to more good times & having faith in the rough times that it won’t last forever! 🥂

Weigh in: holding

Well I’ve been holding at 170 since right after the weigh in last week. Argh…how can I break that barrier into the 160s & stay there?? Feeling frustrated.

I was better about my food amounts & choices last week. I realized after a few days of eating out (mandatory work lunches) to reel it back in which I did.

I did get a compliment on Saturday from a group of girls that they “wished our abs looked anywhere like yours”. Very nice to hear but I’m still not happy cause I know they’ve been better. It will inspire me to try harder at the gym too since we are in full swim season now (hello 90s)!

This week still trying to log my steps (man I have been BAAAD about reaching those goals!), food control & at the gym putting some weight on the bar. Yup, that’s my May gym goal to actually put weights on the bar when we use it (I only lift the bar by itself). My trainer of course is delighted I’m showing some initiative. 😂

Also I need to write here more. So much fun good stuff has been happening that I haven’t been sharing!

Weigh in: lost the battle this week

172 lbs 😞 I didn’t get a picture this morning cause running behind but I saw the scale numbers. Blah!!

I know this weekend was rough & having to weigh in first thing Monday morning sucks. I ate probably close to what I ate all last week in 2.5 days. AND I JUST DIDN’T CARE. Yup that’s how life has been for me lately & I know that’s not a good attitude to have so I’m trying to turn it around. Plus my sleep pattern is still wacky so I need to work on that.

This week’s goals are get back on the right track food wise & work on my sleep pattern. That will be a good start.

I lost the battle but the war is not yet over!!

Just a girl who's flirting with 40…while trying to find love & happiness by the beach