Well…what say you? I think the title says it all, but perhaps I am wrong?
Yeah as you can guess things with Harvard went from fine to not in the matter of a few days. I can honestly say things were going well. I introduced him to a few more friends & still no red flags. I felt like this was an actual adult relationship. He treated me well. We were having fun. Things were progressing naturally. I was…gasp…happy!
Then I started looking a little closer last week. Hmmm…over a month & I still hadn’t met anybody from his world. I don’t mean the kids, but friends, co-workers, anybody. Definite red flag waving. We know when a guy (or girl cause I’ll admit to doing it) doesn’t include you in their life there is a reason…and usually it’s cause they don’t plan on you being around long term. Even giving him a benefit of doubt of being newer here himself & it not being easy to make friends (which I fully appreciate being in the same boat), I still could see how it looked shady. Adding in a few other things…I started to wonder what going on.
A chat Friday night walking home from cocktails turned into him needing to “analyze” his thoughts & “process” before he’d respond. WTF??? He never had a problem with honesty before even when it could have used some sugar coating. Fine I will play along. Saturday was a text he had “processed” & decided my issues were him not acting boyfriendy (his word) & it wasn’t fair to me he was on this path of self rediscovery after the ex (whom they broke up a year ago & let me say…she was BAT SHIT CRAZY). Again, fine. But where does this leave us…moving forward together or what? Let’s meet later for drinks & talk is what I get back. Yes he keeps wanting to meet in public not because I am nuts, but it’s what he came from. Whatever.
So we meet up. We start talking. I feel I am the only one talking cause he has to “process” before he can respond. Ever try having a 1 sided conversation? Finally he gets caught off guard I suppose & the phrase “I am not committing” comes out. Cha-ching…an answer! Now I admit I am a bit pissed cause several times thru out I had asked if this was friends or what & he always was no he wants more than friends so we were moving forward towards relationship I thought. Why didn’t he say this at the very first dinner we went on? “oh by the way I’m not looking to commit” Wow, that wasn’t very hard! At this point I don’t have anything to say cause what can you say to that? Thus the false advertising IS lying to me. He then proceeds to talk about how people come into your lives for a reason & even if this doesn’t work out we can be friends yadda yadda yadda. At this point I start processing that 1–he didn’t care if this worked or not cause he thought we were still going to be friends & 2–he really seriously thought we could just be friends now? I said “uhhh no” to which I finally get the first actual true reaction from him cause he didn’t “process”. I am not going to hang around on the side while he gets it on with other girls in front of me. He was completely floored I was not cool with this!! I said “in fact, if we aren’t together you can lose my number for awhile. Maybe we’ll talk someday, but I guess it depends where I am at & feel like, but yeah definitely lose my number for awhile”.
So here it is a few days later & I haven’t heard a peep. Not that I expect to since I told him to disappear so I suppose I really have an answer now. I’m not sure what I feel, but I think disappointment for sure. I don’t understand why people have to lie or mislead? What for? The truth is going to come out. And don’t proclaim to be an honest person when you start out falsely advertising yourself.
Still am not living in my “new” to me home, but my friends did last week. They are from up North & needed a break from the winter blahs. I said the house isn’t all cute fixed up yet BUT everything works, the pool is running & it’s free to stay so welcome. I am happy to say not only did they LOVE the house but everything worked…thank you to my fabulous contractors!!! They are already planning return visits. It feels so good to not only see dear friends from back home, but to give to them as they have given to me.
Speaking of feeling good…Serta (who I shall rename Harvard) is turning out to be a pretty decent guy. Granted it’s only been a few weeks so I don’t want to wear the rose colored glasses like some fool but it’s going well. A few friends have met him & no crazy red flags have been spotted yet. I am treading cautiously but with hope.
If you read my past entry, I got a free bed last weekend from a friend. Except it wasn’t really her bed. It was her neighbor’s. Who was pretty cute & apparently single cause he asked me out. A free bed + a date…who’s life is this I am living??? Well I just got home from a pretty enjoyable evening! We laughed & talked, he let me drive his car (a sweet Mercedes with a V8…arr power)…and holy balls he even paid for dinner (a nice dinner may I add). Not in that douche now you have to sleep with me or what can I get from this way. He then followed up with some cute text after he dropped me off. I don’t know what future Serta (yes that can be his name) holds, but at least he’s an excellent reminder there ARE good guys out there! 🙂
So the “let’s see what happens” guy from last week. Yup, he sent an email Sunday night after never following up with plans to meet over the weekend. I wish they could at least try to not be so predictable.
And Troy…he’s still hanging in there with his random texts. Of course one came tonight while I was out with Serta. Haven’t decided yet if I am going to respond. I’m tired of being the one he texts when he has the kids or is bored at work & wants adult conversation. Even friendship is a 2 way street & this became a 1 way road awhile ago.
The house is coming along this week. The reroof shall be complete tomorrow. Of course they had to lay practically all new plywood cause it was a rotted mess under the old shingles, but what can you do? My philosophy all along has been “do what you need to do”. I am not going to half ass a job now only to need to re-do it in a few years when it breaks or the quick fix fails. After meeting several water companies all with different ideas of course of what to do that range from $2000-4000 & multiple water testings, I am going with the guy who said my current water softener will work if we get it running right & a new pressure tank. Bill should be under $500 & he’ll show me how to maintain it all myself. DEAL!
My recent foray into home ownership is amazingly going well this week!! Now I know I just jinxed myself, but I have to take a moment to enjoy it.
The pool…you couldn’t see in the water & there were fish living in it…has turned out AMMMAAAAAZZZINGGG!!! So it had been ignored for 2-3 years, but was holding water so I had hope. Can you believe all it needed was a draining, power acid washing & new equipment?? Seriously for $2250 I have a working pool! There were even cute “under the sea” themed ceramic tiles scattered around the floor and steps. Here I had just hoped there wasn’t a dead animal (or worse!) in that green sludge. And the best part…my pool boy starts this week. I hope he’s decent eye candy….hey a girl can dream right?
I am even getting excited about the new roof that is happening this Tuesday. Now this was NOT a happy surprise. I had hoped for 2-3 years on the current roof but no dice. Happy St Patty’s gift to myself I suppose. I picture many days to come sitting in my yard gazing at my new roof. For $10K I want to enjoy seeing it for more than the 30 seconds pulling in & out of my driveway.
Today I am off to pick up a bed for my guest room. I have awesome friends who are the hunt for me since my budget is getting depleted at a rapid rate. I got a 10pm text “I found a bed, no sex, like new, you want?”. At first I’m thinking WTF but then hey why not? You can’t turn a free gift horse down. Even better is I had another friend offer to help me haul this bed. HOO RAH!!
The final step for now appears to be finding a water system. I have well & septic, but have been told by many the water is yuck! Plus I have all new appliances so I don’t want to run yuck water thru them either. The next few days are going to be an education in ariators, iron ionizes, reverse osmosis & I don’t know what else.
In online dating world that is the phrase of death I have learned.
It starts so promising every time…somebody with a profile that sounds appealing, a few emails back & forth without him acting like a douchebag, a suggestion to meet up for drinks or equally casual and then 2 things occur. 1–boy wonder disappears cause he wasn’t real (hello Catfish!) OR 2–“what’s your schedule, yeah this weekend, oh let’s see what happens”. Then NOTHING happens. About 2 weeks later an email “hey we never got together” (no shit Sherlock you never followed up) only to have the same thing happen again. Except I have gotten smarter…2 strikes & you’re blocked. Don’t waste my time.
Is it wrong of me to expect somebody to make plans? I have seen the movie & read the book “He’s Just Not That Into You” and some of it stuck with me. If a guy WANTS to see me, he WILL make it happen. By that I mean actually make plans, set up a date, etc… None of this let’s see what way the wind blows me that day crap. Am I right? Perhaps it is the great Sunshine State that encourages this la de dah attitude towards making plans or committing to do anything? Yes I do live on an island, but I use clocks…island time while cute to say or do when on vacation is extremely frustrating to live around full time. Maybe the Windy City in me just can’t slow down yet?
So here I am on another Friday night after a “let’s see what happens” email from a guy earlier this week. He will get one more shot before the block…but in the mean time I’m going out. Yes Virginia, it turns out there ARE people down here who DO makes plans in advance!
I have kept with online dating despite the lack of success for several reasons. How does one meet people nowadays? I don’t care to hang at bars to meet a barfly, most of my friends are coupled up & perhaps who knows…it just might happen?! I think my profile is pretty on target of who I am & what I am looking for. My pictures are all recent & appropriate…no naked bathroom selfies or my hoo-ha exposed. Not interested in playing games & DEFINITELY not looking for an email buddy.
So what gives??? Why all the sleazy douchebags contacting me? One guy in his profile said he pays college girls to escort him & then he writes me wondering why I wasn’t just beyond thrilled to meet his old ass & go on trips with him or be impressed by his home in a gated community (let’s be honest…all assisted care facilities are fenced in!)? Ummm….because it’s not what I am looking for perv! Another just told me to f—- myself because I won’t drive 75 miles to randomly meet him & I must only want a toothless redneck. I responded how charming he was & wished him good luck.
Let me also add…the guys who are the biggest dicks are the most unrealistic. They aren’t Ken dolls, they aren’t rich, they sure don’t have it all going on….but they want the girl with EVERYTHING. I think they confuse online dating with online shopping & think they can order up a girl like it’s the <fill in your online shopping site> & hit the check out button. Perhaps my criteria is too low…be single, have a job, like to laugh/have fun, wants a relationship…so I’m not filtering out the crazy?
Chime in here…keep hoping it might happen online? Any ideas where else to try meeting sane single fun grown ups?
Ahhh….things were so progressing nicely on the home. The HMDQ tile guy finished (it looks quite so good I give him props for that!) so my electrician was able to return to finish his part. My POD was delivered AND unloaded last weekend! I was so happy to watch that monthly payment pull away. The plumber came for what has turned into a PITA project. Is it bad when you keep apologizing to your contractors? I know on one hand it’s their job & they ARE getting paid (quite a bit more than the rough estimates we thought it would be), but really why must little things turn into big things??? Yes, I know foreclosures are a crapshoot. Yes, I recognized there had been work done without permits (have I yet mentioned I work in the Building field so my poor co-workers have been subjected to assisting with “our” home project as well?). But to actually start ripping into what everybody thought was maybe a 1/2 day project & a week later? Argh….
I will say that my tree remover guy is awesome!! I am seriously in ❤ ❤ ❤ with chain saws, trucks & grinders. BEST things I have ever met! About 75% of my yard has been taken away or cut down or ground out…but the home had been vacant 2-3 years so it was quite a mess. My landscaping mentality of “when in doubt rip it out” is also catching on with my neighbor…I notice the Jurassic Park jungle next door now has some sunlight coming thru! Today is the day though we start cutting the trees shared on the property line. Now I am not being a complete asshat…I spoke with them a week ago about my plans & what is being trimmed. I even offered to split costs if they want to take any trees completely down (I will add these are not good healthy trees, but sickly gross old stuff) & they’ve had time to ponder. Fingers crossed they don’t shoot my tree guy (he is going to check one last time before starting this afternoon).
And now the bad house news of the week…I need a new roof. 😦 I had hoped for a couple of years, but since it failed the inspection for insurance this week I have no choice. The quotes are starting to roll in & I am hoping for the best.
Enjoy the weekend folks. And RIP Leonard Nimoy…you have brought me many smiles when watching Big Bang.