It’s just coffee

So earlier this week for who knows why I re-opened my online dating profile. I’m definitely not looking for a relationship or commitment! Nothing serious for sure. Maybe just to see who’s out there? People to do things with?

Of course you get the guys who just want to email. Fine I’ll do that a little. But 1 guy actually made a coffee date. I met him late this morning & we ended up chatting for a few hours. Yes it felt awkward initially, but also nice to be out & talking about random things. We have a few activities in common & will try meeting up next week to play tennis.

I’m also meeting with a potential roommate tomorrow. Not sure what to expect but hopeful as I think we may be a good match. Fingers crossed!!


When does “normal” return?

When does feeling normal return?

It’s been almost 3 weeks since he took off. There’s been no explanation. There’s been no contact. So how long will I feel this way? I can’t even really explain it but it doesn’t feel normal. I’m a total foodie, but am approaching almost 20 pounds gone. All I eat is chicken noodle soup. Anything else isn’t working. Perhaps I need a good cry? That hasn’t happened…I don’t know if it’s cause I really don’t cry or I was just so shocked?

People tell me it takes time. Some have said 6 months. Yeah I can’t feel this way for that long! Some days I feel better…others not so much. I’m tired of waking up between 4-6 every morning to dry heave and feel sick. I go to bed early to make up for it yet I feel so drained.

Looking forward to the day I no longer feel this way & whatever my new “normal” feels like.

They always come back

I had a friend tell me this last week. The 1 thing she has learned about men if nothing else is that they always come back. At first I dismissed it but I will be honest it’s something I have thought a little about. And why?? Because so far it’s been true! The guys I dated down here that peaced out (I’m noticing the trend believe me & will be talking to the therapist about it) HAVE come back after I thought more about it. They were guys that ranged anywhere from a few dates to a few months. But they all disappeared. Some I could have cared less and others I was hurt. My friend was right though…anywhere from 2-5 months later after hearing nothing I suddenly would get a random text or call. Some wanted to explain their actions (yeah too late), some wanted to date (ummm no), some I just plain didn’t understand why they contacted me.

So that got me curious. This latest disappearing guy…we dated for 9 months. I’m thinking based on previous experience and nothing scientific that IF he’s going to contact me it will be August.

So what say you? Has this been your experience? And why do they come back? Guilt? Loneliness? Enlighten me please ๐Ÿ™‚


You know what’s missing??

“Your smile”

I am really starting to hate people saying that to me. I got dumped. My heart is broke. Life sucks right now. Do you really think I am going to be gleefully running around smiling?? My therapist said its good to write so that’s what I’m doing here. I know things WILL get better but for now its an up & down battle daily. I never did hear from him which is probably about the worst thing a person could ever do in my opinion. I feel like all I do is work and then sleep. I’m trying to stay busy with little things, but evenings are the worst.

So now is when my house decides to also be a PITA. The water again stops working, but now it appears to be a pipe came off the pump (not those asshat ants again). Wtf. Of course this is found after work so no water until the next day. Apparently something overheated and melted the pvc piping thus the pipe disconnecting. Luckily my pump was ok and I escaped with a minimal bill.

I have decided to look for a roommate. I had a few up north so it’s nothing new & truth be told I had always planned to find one. I have a feeling this may be an interesting search as I’m over crazy people and not settling.


so who else got dumped on Valentine’s Day??

Yes Valentine’s Day was a bit ago, but pardon me…it was a bit rough this year. The guy I had been seeing for almost 9 months waited for me to leave for work, packed up the items he kept at my house & when I got home that was my surprise to figure out. When I called him bewildered asking what was going on, he didn’t have much to say before (how convenient) his phone stopped dialing/rec’ing calls. The next morning I got a text that my stuff is sitting in a box outside his house. WTF

I was blind sided. I was left no explanation. I had to make calls to cancel a cruise. Refund airline miles. Change plans we had made. This was not how I had planned on spending my holiday weekend! I made an appointment with the therapist, I went to work, I kept functioning, but I’m a mess. I miss him, I don’t. I love him, I’m mad. I’m conflicted cause WHO was that person at the end?? Not somebody I had ever seen.

The bonus of all this (if there is to be one)ย is I lost almost 15 lbs & am back to my high school weight! Bring on that 20 year reunion now!


Tornadoes 0, House 1

So we have had some CRAZY weather here the last couple days, but my house did great! Tons of water…won’t be needing to fill the pool for sure. Glad I had that gutter installed as it seems to be doing the job! Tornadoes came thru the area & some microbursts. Roofs ripped off & debris damage in the area, but again all good here. Yay!!

On the dating front things have been great with PC. We had fun last weekend at the house of the mouse! But I won’t lie…his 2 adult daughters don’t like me (no idea why) & I am disappointed this is how it is, but someday that may change. After a rough month PC is trying to establish relationships with them that doesn’t rely on him giving them cash or whatever they want in order for them to contact him. For his sake I am hopeful it happens, but I don’t think they have matured enough yet.

Who else is enjoying the day off? I’m trying to motivate myself but I must admit…doing nothing is nice!


Gutters here…take that ants!

So this week I had a gutter installed on the only side of my house that didn’t have one. I know…it makes no sense to me either! Unfortunately the un-guttered side is where all the water equipment is & of course perfectly lined up so the water runs right off the roof on to it. Which apparently the little ants don’t care for so they take up shelter in (of all places) the switch for the water pump. Several times I have been mod shower only to have the water cut off. WTF?!?! Sometimes it would come back after 10 minutes, sometimes not. After several calls to the water people and making them come out (in their defense they kept telling me it was ants & I sort of thought they were crazy) I came up with a new plan to defeat the little bastards. Get a gutter installed to help direct the water better & start poisoning the shit out of the area by the water pump. Either the ants will die or I will…so far I believe I am winning!!!!ย  ๐Ÿ™‚


Isn’t the new gutter & downspout (the center one) amazing? I asked Santa for this for Christmas & it worked! I know the rest of the area isn’t amazing looking yet but I have plans as the budget grows again.


Just a girl who's flirting with 40…while trying to find love & happiness by the beach