Tag Archives: advice

A miracle happened

My room is finally unpacked & about 90% organized. 🙌 🙌

I know…it’s crazy! Last Sunday I got up, walked 6 miles, took myself to lunch & then came home to tackle the “project”. Seriously it took me like 7-8 hours of plugging away to get it done, but I was determined to get it done. I started with clearing out the garbage (empty bags, boxes, magazines, etc…) to give myself room. I tackled the clothes piles & how I wanted the drawers organized. I also made some bags for clothes that don’t fit for friends to try (my loss is their win) before Goodwill gets it. Then the clothes folding & real unpacking began… I actually ran out of space & put out some texts to find another dresser. Within an hour I had another dresser dropped off (thanks awesome neighbors! 😘) so I could resume the project. I’m telling you I was DETERMINED to get this done as much as possible! I am pretty pleased with the final results. I still have a little to go (random boxes of things), but who cares it’s about done finally. It only took 7.5 months after moving in! 🤪 I did tell my brother I need a door (yup I’ve had no door this whole time) & the ceiling fan re-installed so I’ll give that another week to happen before I really get on him about it.

Other than that I haven’t been very motivated this week. Which isn’t good for the diet at all. ☹️ The last 3 days I have come home from work & just done nothing (the heat or rain kills any motivation I have). Except eat. So not good! I have been trying a new routine with the gym. I have started going 1 day a week in the morning before work to get that extra workout in if I can’t make it on the weekend. Honestly it’s not that bad at 6am! Except it leaves my nights free so then I eat. 🤷🏼‍♀️

So happy it’s finally Friday!!

I haven’t played kickball in forever on Fridays & I’m looking forward to the new team I’m on for the summer!!

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Weekend getaway revelations

I type this as I’m flying back south after a weekend visit to Chicago. Less than 48 hours there, but an interesting trip for me. The reason for this trip was the wedding (the bachelorette party from last month) & as a bonus I got to see my dad for Father’s Day!

It started Friday after work. First flight was fine. Delays all over at the next airport which wasn’t affecting me initially, but eventually my flight was 40 minutes late leaving. Whatever. I wasn’t in a time crunch & I wasn’t going to be bothered by something I can’t control. Holy cow other people were super pissed though so I enjoyed dinner at my gate & some late evening entertainment! I landed really late, got my Lyft & made it to the hotel by 1:30am so not too bad. Yay!

Saturday morning after being up over 20 hours & with the time change I only got a few hours nap we’ll call it. Since it was 8am & I didn’t have to be ready for the wedding shuttle til 3pm…I went to the hotel gym. I know? Who the fuck am I?? I have become the weird person who works out AND LIKES IT on vacations. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I then went to breakfast at the restaurant & enjoyed a leisurely meal before I went back to nap some more & get ready. I pondered the pool but it was indoors and didn’t have good chairs to read or sleep on.

As I sat there eating breakfast I realized how much I have changed. I came all by myself on this trip (not even meeting up with my BFF as my wedding date), hadn’t spoke to anyone (outside of hotel or airport interactions) since I left work Friday & was actually doing things (not just hiding in my room) AND I WAS OK WITH IT. Ding ding. Wow big girl moment! I dare say I felt quite at ease and comfortable with my own company. I am always surprised when people tell me they won’t do things on their own cause it makes me then wonder how little I would be doing if I hadn’t adopted the just do it mentality 5+ years ago? Honestly I didn’t always feel comfortable or I’d feel very self conscious doing things solo especially if it was a couples or group type thing but I just kept pushing myself to go rather than miss out. Eventually I just ignored the feelings & did whatever it was. But this was the first time I honestly could say I was comfortable with being by myself.

Finally!! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The wedding Saturday by the way was amazing! It was outside at an estate in a very upscale area and all top notch. I got to see the girls I met last month all gussied up plus several friends I hadn’t caught up with since I moved so it was very enjoyable. The bride & groom were a beautiful couple and I am so happy everything was perfect for them! Except the bloody heat & humidity. It was sweltering sitting there for the ceremony so I can only imagine how the wedding party felt standing. Seriously I never want to hear anyone bitch about Florida heat again! I mean if you are in the center of the state or some shithole area by all means but you brought that on yourself honey. I live on the Gulf & we have breezes and there’s never been a triple digit day. Now the Chicagoland area…they are having severe heat watch or whatever they call it & it’s like the face of the sun trying to breathe. I don’t miss any of that! I’m so happy to be on the plane headed south right now 🤣

I was a bum this morning. I considered working out again, but that would make 4 days in a row when I get home which I’ve learned doesn’t work for me. I need a recovery day if I want my workouts to be effective. My parents picked me up at the hotel & we went for Father’s Day lunch on the way to the airport. I was so happy to see my Dad today as I haven’t gotten to spend it with him in the 5 years since I moved. Plus I haven’t seen him since November for his birthday. We talk on the phone and stay in touch regularly but it’s just not the same. The parents are going on a vacation next week but I encouraged Dad at least (mom’s working) to come visit even for a few days after that so maybe.

All in all it was a great trip! I realized I’ve had a lot of personal growth which is good to see. I’m happy to be heading home though. I upped my gym membership this month & I’m having my food delivered again this week. I need to get back on track for my weight goals. I was so close and the last 2 weeks its gotten ugly. 😖 All on me & I know it so time to get serious again. The 4th of July is mygoal now!

it’s closing in…

My birthday that is!!!

Flirting with 40 is almost over with less than 2 days to go. Which makes me a little sad cause when I started this blog is felt like 40 was still a bit off, but time has just flown by. There have been of course big ups & downs. A few tears too, but honestly more laughter. SO MUCH LAUGHTER. I have grown so much as a person & really started to figure out who I am. I have let go of friendships that were no longer healthy for me. I now know that that is ok to do as different phases of life bring in different types of people. I have met so many more wonderful people who have all helped me grow & learn about myself in some way big or small. Some of those people continue to still be in my life while others have already passed thru. My core circle of friends although small is rock solid & I know they are the people who will go to war with me. And isn’t that what one really needs? To know you have even just 1 or 2 people that so believe in you & want good things for you so that when you forget they are there to remind you. Those are MY people.

Why couldn’t I have started down this path 10 years ago? But I suppose that is what your 30’s are for. Trying to find who you are & becoming ok with it. I am excited for my 40’s. More adventures. More laughter. More travel. More friends. Hopefully more love. I really do believe I will meet the right man. I know there will be more tears, but that only means I am trying. Not everything is always a success & there will be failures except I now feel better prepared to handle them.

where is this month going???

May is going by sooooo fast & that makes me a little sad cause it’s MY BIRTHDAY MONTH!!! I want it to linger as long as possible especially since the BIG 4-0 is here. At least I am back in town now for a bit. But so many fun plans I can’t wait for!

Just got back from a weekend bachelorette party on the other side of the state. Honestly I haven’t been to that side in almost 20 years & it’s not where I could live. The beaches aren’t even comparable. The houses are pretty to admire though. The area is very over priced so going out is expensive, but it was a fun time. There was 10 of us girls sharing a house & I think we did pretty well. Only a little drama from some of the bridesmaids. lol We did do a bike bar thing one afternoon where everyone pedals & we stopped at a few bars. That was so much fun! I definitely recommend that for any type of group outing.

The rain this week has been non-stop. And the love bugs. I have never seen anything like that even though I have lived here for 4.5 years. WTF???!!!! When the swarms come I am not going outside! HELL NO. Then my car adventures…2 weeks ago I had to replace all 4 tires. It was time & I knew it was coming so I wasn’t shocked when the dealership told me (I was there for an oil change). Still a chunk of change though to part with. Then I notice last week when washing it there is a big spot on my rim missing from either taking the tires on or off. Now I am not your typical flakey girl when it comes to my cars…I am very on top of it & take care of it so I notice this stuff. Back to the dealership I go where they notice none of the rims look right (there was black coming thru the silver). A day later I get a text that 4 BRAND SPANKING NEW rims are being ordered & will be put on the car all at NO CHARGE cause it was factory covered. HELL YEAH!!!

Yesterday was my 2 year anniversary of moving out my house & to the “new” city. I have lived in 3 different places, but I really have found my niche I believe. I love the area I am in! It’s perfect for me location & activity wise & friends. I have to say I am happy in that aspect. Things have been an adjustment at the house. Living with kids has been a whole new adventure for me. They are a hoot though & I enjoy having them around. My room is still not unpacked which I am sure is my biggest problem. But who wants to clean & organize their bedroom when so much other fun stuff is happening? I suppose all the rain this weekend will help me do that. And I know once it’s done I’ll feel better too.

The dating scene….it is interesting. I know I am at a good point in my life where everything has come together & I even told my therapist last month I really feel ready to have a relationship. And I have faith that it will happen this year cause things are just going so well. But patience is just not my thing! Things with J are going ok. Before I went to Jamaica 2 weeks ago I wanted to have some sort of informal chat about where things were with us & unfortunately it happened over the phone which I would have preferred in person. What came of that is he does have fun when he’s with me, but he’s not out searching for relationship although he isn’t opposed to one happening. He’s not into labels. He hasn’t had a real serious anything since his divorce 3 years ago & while I respect that he got hurt badly, I am not going to deal with somebody who hasn’t dealt with their issues. Not doing that again!!! I have gone to therapy, faced my problems & am putting in the work to become a better me. I refuse to go backwards. I feel like he’s just very indifferent. If I am there–great. If I am not–ok. If he sees me–fun. If he doesn’t–oh well. And I want more. I AM WORTH MORE. I want a man who’s excited & wants to see me. When a week goes by he’s trying to make plans to see me. That’s just not happening here. J & I usually text or talk daily or every other day which is nice, but I don’t want a relationship with my phone. Not in the early stages of whatever this might be. I want to give things time & I am trying to be patient, but I also don’t want to be stupid wasting my time. It’s a very hard line I am realizing & I don’t do grey well. At some point I will need to decide. As of now he’s not able to attend any of my birthday plans or functions I have been invited to or am attending for the next few weeks. Which I am fine with some of it cause he has his kid, but I also feel at moments like this I want people around me who will be here in the future moving forward. If you’re not in it, then don’t come for the fun stuff. I don’t want you in those memories.

So with all that being said I re-opened my online dating profile last weekend and I have gotten some serious hits already. I have a lunch date Saturday. And possibly some others may happen too. I talked with my therapist about it yesterday. J has shown me his feelings & I need to listen. I am not totally writing him off as part of me wants to believe he could be the right guy so I will give him more time, but I am not putting out the effort anymore. We both have traveling in the next few weeks so I figure another month to see what happens. Either it will fizzle out or he will step up. In the mean time I am going to continue doing my thing & if I meet somebody else then so be it.

weekend wind down

I had a really nice weekend of nothing. Just relaxing, refreshing, renewing myself.

Doggy sitting was great! Saturday morning snuggles in bed & then I went to the beach for the afternoon. Got some great sun & sand time. Took about a 2 mile walk along the shore which was nice.

Saturday night I went out with my friend Tiffany since we’ve both been super busy & haven’t seen each other. Tried this adorable little German restaurant (thanks Groupon!) that was really good & authentic. I can’t wait to go again!

Sunday was another lazy morning with the puppies before I drove by my house since it’s been awhile to check things out. It looks ok–not sure about the new lawn company that took over so I’ll need to do a few more visits to check their work. Noticed the palm trees looked long so I called my tree guy to get them trimmed. The neighborhood as a whole seems to be on the upswing from when I started looking in there 3.5 years ago for houses. People have made exterior improvements, houses have been cleaned up, the foreclosures seem less. Yay!! I then did some shopping (need dresses for the upcoming wedding trip & then a bachelorette weekend) which was successful! Headed back to the house to let the puppies play outside before the storm hit. Which once it did we climbed in bed & watched TV/slept. Very uneventful day which is good for me.

I didn’t hear from J all weekend after we had drinks after kickball Friday. He had plans with friends coming from out of town. At first I was ok. Then I got bugged. Then I was all right. Then I started worrying. And about what I have no idea?!?!?! God I hate this crappy fear of I don’t know what…him disappearing? Leaving? I never used to feel this way. I think about everything I said & if I was ok? Or how he reacted. I sent him a text later Sunday & he responded a bit later that he just got home. I gave him a bit to settle & then called him. We chatted a bit which was nice. And nothing was wrong. He was fine. I was just having irrational stupid over thinking freak out. I would like to thank the previous douchebag for that! Argh…I really am trying to work on this issue with myself. I don’t want to hold other’s actions against him cause he’s done nothing wrong or even remotely close to it. He’s very sweet, calls me when he says he will & really likes me so I don’t want to blow it. I am glad to have therapy this week so we can discuss it.

It was a good week

Maybe it didn’t start the greatest being sick but it ended well. 😊

The drugs I got Monday have been working their magic & I was already feeling much better after a few. Wednesday kickball is going ok. I’m the “captain” this season & it’s sort of a pain in the ass. One would think since we’re all adults it’s common courtesy to mention when you’re missing a game so other arrangements can be made. Nope not so much 😡 So each week is a scramble at the start of who’s gonna be here. I did end up asking J join my team so I have enough players for those off weeks. Which is nice I get to see him a little more.

Thursday after work I started pet sitting for the weekend. It’s 3 adorable pups & very easy so I enjoy it. It’s nice being back by where I used to live and a little break in my schedule. J came down for dinner so we got take out sushi & went to sit on the beach. It was right after sunset so just nice & low key. I really enjoy hanging out with him & talking.

Friday was pretty same old. Did our pre-work morning walk. I tried to wrap up work and organize as much as I could. Missing time this week got things a little off kilter. Took care of the dogs after work before heading up to kickball. My team did well & we won. I finally feel like I am back in the groove! J asked me to sub on his team and they won as well. It was a good night!

Looking forward to this weekend of relaxing and nothing. Perhaps some beach today before the storms tomorrow? Reading? We’ll see where the wind blows…

icky sicky 😷

Ugh…I hate being sick. I will admit I am the worst about treating myself. I never want to acknowledge it cause who has time? I keep going cause I have too much happening to stop. My schedule this month is so booked it’s really not a good time thank you very much. Pretend you’re fine & you will be fine = positive thinking power! 💡

So with all that being said I waved the white flag Monday morning. I have had a cough & sore throat since early March. It varied how bad it was, but it never went away. Everyone kept saying how terrible the pollen was & allergies so I believed it to be that. All we needed was some good rain to wash the pollen away & WAH LAH I would be better right? Yeah except it wasn’t raining either. Friday afternoon my body finally had enough & my right eye had goobers. I assumed I simply MUST have something in my eye & it couldn’t be illness. Yes the denial is THAT strong! Saturday my girls checked my eye out & declared it not pink eye (they have kids & much experience at this), but I definitely needed a doctor. So my plan was to call my doctor Monday morning from work & go from there until later Sunday rolled around & now I have ick coming out my left eye (yup both eyes are gross) so I started looking at what time Urgent Care opens in the morning. Yes a little late but hey at least I was making progress.

My weekend was all right. Friday night kickball cancelled so I went out for a belated birthday dinner celebration for a co-worker who has become a great friend. I really don’t know what I’d do without her sometimes cause we both have similar issues with our workplace & we just get along really well. She includes me for holidays since I don’t have any family here & makes sure to check on me in general. She’s just awesome. Saturday & Sunday I worked my side job so a little extra $$$. The have asked me to work a lot more weekends, but I am being selective. I don’t want to work so much I can’t do anything else. The extra money is nice for sure, but all work work work isn’t any fun so I am trying to balance. Sunday after working I went over to Jay’s & we just hung out being bums. He’s been sick too (probably from me–my bad). It was nice to just spend time together without doing much & see how it goes. He had already decided he wasn’t going in to work Monday (but he can work from home some too) when my eyes got bad & I decided I need to skip work & go to Urgent Care Monday ASAP. What a pair we are. lol

So Monday morning I am the 2nd in line & seen right away. Yay! Turns out I don’t have little kid pink eye, but it’s a strain of the flu or something that has been going around the last few weeks. It’s sort of like a sinus infection since it’s in your throat & nose & ears & coughing. I guess coming out your eyes is the real final steps. 🤧 Fabulous. So now I have drugs for 10 days & I am already feeling a ton better! Which is good cause I am puppy sitting this weekend for my 3 little cuties again & then next weekend is the Disney Star Wars 10K I signed up for waaaay last May. It’s a bucket list item for me & I am really excited! I am dressing up at BB-8 & my friend is going as R2-D2. Yeah the dressing up part is a highlight for me!