May is going by sooooo fast & that makes me a little sad cause it’s MY BIRTHDAY MONTH!!! I want it to linger as long as possible especially since the BIG 4-0 is here. At least I am back in town now for a bit. But so many fun plans I can’t wait for!
Just got back from a weekend bachelorette party on the other side of the state. Honestly I haven’t been to that side in almost 20 years & it’s not where I could live. The beaches aren’t even comparable. The houses are pretty to admire though. The area is very over priced so going out is expensive, but it was a fun time. There was 10 of us girls sharing a house & I think we did pretty well. Only a little drama from some of the bridesmaids. lol We did do a bike bar thing one afternoon where everyone pedals & we stopped at a few bars. That was so much fun! I definitely recommend that for any type of group outing.
The rain this week has been non-stop. And the love bugs. I have never seen anything like that even though I have lived here for 4.5 years. WTF???!!!! When the swarms come I am not going outside! HELL NO. Then my car adventures…2 weeks ago I had to replace all 4 tires. It was time & I knew it was coming so I wasn’t shocked when the dealership told me (I was there for an oil change). Still a chunk of change though to part with. Then I notice last week when washing it there is a big spot on my rim missing from either taking the tires on or off. Now I am not your typical flakey girl when it comes to my cars…I am very on top of it & take care of it so I notice this stuff. Back to the dealership I go where they notice none of the rims look right (there was black coming thru the silver). A day later I get a text that 4 BRAND SPANKING NEW rims are being ordered & will be put on the car all at NO CHARGE cause it was factory covered. HELL YEAH!!!
Yesterday was my 2 year anniversary of moving out my house & to the “new” city. I have lived in 3 different places, but I really have found my niche I believe. I love the area I am in! It’s perfect for me location & activity wise & friends. I have to say I am happy in that aspect. Things have been an adjustment at the house. Living with kids has been a whole new adventure for me. They are a hoot though & I enjoy having them around. My room is still not unpacked which I am sure is my biggest problem. But who wants to clean & organize their bedroom when so much other fun stuff is happening? I suppose all the rain this weekend will help me do that. And I know once it’s done I’ll feel better too.
The dating scene….it is interesting. I know I am at a good point in my life where everything has come together & I even told my therapist last month I really feel ready to have a relationship. And I have faith that it will happen this year cause things are just going so well. But patience is just not my thing! Things with J are going ok. Before I went to Jamaica 2 weeks ago I wanted to have some sort of informal chat about where things were with us & unfortunately it happened over the phone which I would have preferred in person. What came of that is he does have fun when he’s with me, but he’s not out searching for relationship although he isn’t opposed to one happening. He’s not into labels. He hasn’t had a real serious anything since his divorce 3 years ago & while I respect that he got hurt badly, I am not going to deal with somebody who hasn’t dealt with their issues. Not doing that again!!! I have gone to therapy, faced my problems & am putting in the work to become a better me. I refuse to go backwards. I feel like he’s just very indifferent. If I am there–great. If I am not–ok. If he sees me–fun. If he doesn’t–oh well. And I want more. I AM WORTH MORE. I want a man who’s excited & wants to see me. When a week goes by he’s trying to make plans to see me. That’s just not happening here. J & I usually text or talk daily or every other day which is nice, but I don’t want a relationship with my phone. Not in the early stages of whatever this might be. I want to give things time & I am trying to be patient, but I also don’t want to be stupid wasting my time. It’s a very hard line I am realizing & I don’t do grey well. At some point I will need to decide. As of now he’s not able to attend any of my birthday plans or functions I have been invited to or am attending for the next few weeks. Which I am fine with some of it cause he has his kid, but I also feel at moments like this I want people around me who will be here in the future moving forward. If you’re not in it, then don’t come for the fun stuff. I don’t want you in those memories.
So with all that being said I re-opened my online dating profile last weekend and I have gotten some serious hits already. I have a lunch date Saturday. And possibly some others may happen too. I talked with my therapist about it yesterday. J has shown me his feelings & I need to listen. I am not totally writing him off as part of me wants to believe he could be the right guy so I will give him more time, but I am not putting out the effort anymore. We both have traveling in the next few weeks so I figure another month to see what happens. Either it will fizzle out or he will step up. In the mean time I am going to continue doing my thing & if I meet somebody else then so be it.
So the guy (William) I met with Tuesday last week…is going well. I say that cautiously cause my faith in men is zero but I’m trying to be optimistic.
We met for a drink which was going so well he suggested having some dinner. I of course took the opportunity to suggest dessert (which he loved!) so we had sundaes. We had good flowing conversation about all sorts of topics. After dessert he knew I had to get going for the cornhole meet up, but I said fuck that…I was having a good time meeting somebody with potential so WHY am I going to leave to go somewhere uncomfortable that I don’t HAVE to be??? So I stayed. Sent my girl a text so she knew my whereabouts & we continued on with our night. We took a walk around the stores & looked in windows or went inside. Just fun silly stuff. Then we stopped for a final drink at a beachy bar. It was a really good evening.
William then left the next day for Seattle where he’ll be for a good 2 weeks for work. During that time he’s taking a few days to fly back to the Midwest (home) to see his 2 kids. Since he’s recently moved to FL he tries to stay involved as much as he can. Luckily his work involves travel & is based by his kids so he can go back. But he’s continued to text & stay in touch with me which I think is a good sign.
I think it’s been good for me too. Meeting somebody new usually involves disappearing into a bubble, but with him gone I’ve kept my own schedule & plans. I’m watching my good friend disappear into the bubble with the girl he just met & hearing other people’s comments is rough. I am happy for him cause he’s happy so I understand how exciting it can be to meet somebody you click with & want to be around, BUT I have also learned I NEED to continue with my own life. I have worked way too hard to become my own person & as harsh as this sounds….I’m not going to toss it all aside for some new guy. I’m also not putting all my eggs in. Still continuing to be online & meet others so that helps keep things low key as well. I’m just taking things slow with anybody I meet & seeing what develops.
My birthday celebration is finally over. Drinks & dancing Saturday night did me in. Oh but it was fun!!! I’m so very blessed to have good people around me. Sunday after a slow start I ended up at the beach with friends. The annual cookout was a success & great time. I got a tad too much sun. Oops!! I do love where I live. Monday I got up early to run my errands & then I was back home in bed before it got super warm. My reward was a lazy day!
Tonight is the first official cornhole night of the other league. It will be nice to see the new people playing & catch up. Hopefully the ones I don’t care for will steer clear. 😂 Tomorrow is removing the rest of my wisdom teeth. My mom is on her way down now. I think she was just worried & being a mom even though I had arrangements with my roommate. Lucky him he’s off the hook now! So when you hear from me again I’ll be on a bunch of happy pills. Woo hoo!!!
My birthday was Thursday & it was simply amazing! I was so surprised by how many people took a moment to wish me well. I am so blessed to have so many wonderful friends & family in my life. 🙏😘
My day started with my coworker decorating my desk & bringing in treats including a special lunch cupcake!! After work I went to the gym where I got to be the DJ & pick all the music. 😂 My trainer had made a deal with me a few months ago as a reward so I had been compiling my song list. Some of us had a good time, but I think my trainer was dying (we don’t have the same workout music taste 😆). After the gym I then met a group of my gym friends at a craft brew place that had a food truck! Dinner was so good. And then my friend busted out these cupcakes she made.
Holy cow awesome!!! She’s so talented. What a truly wonderful day. Again I couldn’t believe how people went out out of their way for me. 😊 AND NO TEARS!!!
Friday was a good day at work before the holiday weekend. I had kickball (and more birthday cupcakes!) & it was the playoffs. We had to play Joe’s team which ended up being a tough game. I was the 1st to score & for awhile we hung on to the lead. Then disaster broke & we fell behind. Until the end when we loaded bases & cause they walked the guy ahead of me I got an automatic walk so we ended up WINNING!!! The look on their (ok his face!) was priceless as they went from jeering laughing to realizing my walking pushed in the winning run was classic. 👊 Not to mention my brothers once again had a target on him so he never got on base. Yeah they weren’t very happy about being eliminated. What can I say…I brought the CRAZY! 😜 Our team rocked out & despite a very long next game that was crazy WE WON!! 🏆 I’m so happy after previous early eliminations to finally win. Won’t lie…it feels good. And I actually played pretty well so double win!
Today I have been a bum & slept in. Watching tv. It’s my lazy day. Meeting friends for birthday drinks at a bar tonight so I need to eventually get going.
I just have to say though this birthday was pretty darn great! Much better than I could have ever hoped & I’m feeling ready for my last year of 30s! 😁
Tomorrow is my birthday 🎉 And to avoid any disappointment or getting upset I have my expectation level at ZERO. Zilch. Nada.
Is that sad? Is it wrong I have to do that? I don’t know. I mean I would love for somebody to recognize and make a deal out of my birthday like I have done for others. Even when I’ve been dating someone they never seem to do much. Yeah I get to pick a birthday dinner. Sometimes a present. But flowers? A party? Organizing a simple get together? Yeah that stuff only happens if I do it. And let me say it gets real old doing it for yourself.
So here I am on the eve of my final bday hitting the end of my 30s. I got some sushi to go & have a quiet evening planned. Get a good nights rest & be ready to expect nothing tomorrow.
Happy birthday me 😊