Tag Archives: dating

more catching up

so to resume the catch up of the past few months….

My living situation changed again. Before the hurricane in September arrived (the real one, not the roommate’s GF) he informed me that his GF would be moving in October 1st. But nothing was really going to change he claimed. She still was going to work several hours away so she would only be staying at the house a few days a week (like she was doing) when she wasn’t working (yeah I don’t understand any of it either). Men are so dumb. We all knew it was going to change, but ok he can keep on believing it’s not going to. hahahaha!!! Then during the hurricane like literally as it’s passing over the top of us they are having some big fight lets talk about our relationship moment while completely intoxicated which even you can now guess didn’t go well. Storm ends, GF leaves, he informs me they are broke up & she is not moving in. I figured in a few days that would change cause that’s the game they play (high school make up break up), but when it reached over 2 weeks I was even a bit surprised. Then I come home one night from the bar to find a moving truck in the driveway & oh yeah she’s moved in. Super. I don’t want this drama in my life so I figure I’ve got about 2-3 months before it gets really bad (which will be during the holidays so even more awesome) & I need to be gone. Time to start checking the housing ads. After 2 weeks of her being there I know I definitely will need to be moving cause it is just SO weird. Nobody speaks in the house & you can feel the tenseness. Luckily I was working weekends at my side job too & that got me away from it. End of October my brother John asks if I want to move in with him. He & his GF had ended things & she had moved out already. I’ll be honest at first I was worried about the drama & BS it would cause (these people were part of the group when we went to Costa Rica together), but then we talked logistics more (he has a 9 yo son & 4 yo daughter that live there part time also) & it started to sound like it could work. I gave myself a few days to ponder it & decided I really needed to make the best decision for me so I agreed to move in. I gave the roommate & his GF 10 days notice since I had no contract (I pay rent on the 10th) & started moving my things over early November. I only moved about a mile down the street so location wise not much has really changed for me. Once I did move in I wasn’t around much the 1st month anyways (travel, working extra, house sitting for 2 weeks) which I think helped give the kids more time to adjust. And me. hahaha! I have never lived with kids before & it’s a trip!! They make me laugh & I enjoy their company. It’s been 2 months now & I don’t regret it. It was a good decision for me. Yes, there was some drama shit & still is from his ex-gf, but it doesn’t affect me. That part of my life is going pretty well.

Dating has been interesting. I think it was end of September/early October when I got a random text from Will. Yup the guy who just disappeared after saying he lost his job back the end of July. He wanted to talk. I’m thinking well if I get dinner out of it at a nice restaurant then I’ll go listen for a bit. Turns out he wasn’t in the area so I was like ehhh f off don’t want to hear it. hahaha!! Went on a few dates with some guys either from online or friends introduced but nothing ever sparked or came of it. Fuckboy got in there for a few weeks. Mark from the summer kept popping up. We have dinner like once a month or so, but definitely never going to be anything there. We were at a mutual friends party in early December & he crossed the line as far as behavior & appropriateness goes for friends. But he was so drunk he had no idea when he tried to contact me a few days later. It’s sad really. I haven’t seen him since & he just texted me for Christmas, but I can’t have one sided relationships. Maybe you think I’m great to have in your life yet what do you bring to mine?? It’s not 50/50. I have learned to value myself more this year & I want more from the people I choose to be around. The loser users can step aside.

I did meet a guy mid-December that I have been pondering (Brian). It was at kickball (yup still playing lol). We went out that night to hear my friend’s band. Had a good time & he acted interested. Been texting me every day. Hung out with his friends for drinks the next week. Ok. Now I’m kind of wondering where things are cause he’s only hugged me & that’s it. Christmas Eve night I’m super bored (all my family is up north) & he was going to a friend’s party after his family dinner so asked if I wanted to go. Had a nice time & got back to his house (he lives close by me) and hung out some more. He then says he’s going to bed & I can stay if I want. Hmmmm…. Do you want me to? Sure. Do you have pjs? Sure. And that was it. We laid in bed. He did have his arm around me all night. But nothing happened. Seriously????????????? Not even a kiss or anything. I woke up about 7 & was like uh oh I need to get home before Santa comes (living with kids!) so I got up. He got up also & walked me out and gave me a hug. And we’ve continued to text since. But no future plans have been made either.

So wtf?? Am I in the friend zone? Does he like me & isn’t sure? Is it that time of year? I have no frigging clue! I feel next time I see him I am going to ask about it.

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Feeling pretty good overall

It’s been a crazy few months. So crazy I haven’t been able to do much updating here. And some funny shit has happened that I’m sure would have been entertaining for you all.

Let’s see…Irma passed by. I had little damage at my house. Just a few screens needed replacing & that was it. The renters said they didn’t have power for about a week so they were in a shelter for a few days & then a hotel. Things had been going well at the house for a few months except the last few weeks of course. Something is wrong with the plumbing/pipes. Had the septic emptied, but didn’t resolve the issue. Now need a plumber to come fish the line cause something is clogged down the toilet. I’m really hoping the renters dropped something down the toilet that got stuck & it’s not roots or something bad with a broken pipe. We’ll see….

Work has been nuts. When I went back after Irma (had about a week off) people were off the wall batshit. I get there was a lot of stress & freaking out, but come on. Be a little professional. It was so bad in fact that I went home after the first day & restarted on my meds that I had stopped in February. I had been completely fine the entire hurricane yet going back to work in that environment had me literally an anxious mess in hours. So I bit the bullet & started back so within a few days I felt “normal” again. I felt like such a failure though I told my very close friends & therapist. It was hard for me to admit I was losing control again, but it was the best decision cause I could feel things starting to spiral. Except instead of throwing up I was eating like a starved fat kid at the buffet so I have packed on quite a bit weight. At this point I am 30 pounds heavier than I was a year ago (more on that later).

About mid-September I met a guy named Andy who I later renamed Fuckboy. I had a feeling about him being a bit of one, but my friends were really pushing for me to give him a chance & be open minded. After several weeks of him being up my ass everyday texting (yeah that was a sign so I kept my walls up) & hanging out a few times, I run into him at a bar on a Saturday night. With some other lady. The night after he cancels a date with me last minute cause of some emergency. Of course my friends bless their hearts jump into support mode–she’s not pretty, she looks so old, etc–but I’m not going to bash her. She’s irrelevant to me. I decide wtf do I have to lose & rather than just always wonder…I walk up to him on 1 side & sweetly say “hey what’s up?”. I have never seen somebody squirm & refuse eye contact & look so uncomfortable. hahaha!!! He stammers out a few things & actually has the balls to introduce me to whoever she is (I made sure to clearly say my name & shake her hand & smile big) before I turned my attention back on him. I remained calm & spoke quietly so I can’t be accused of acting crazy (we know how men LOVE to say that!!). I was like “what is going on?” to which he stated she’s his ex-gf who he thinks they are getting back together. Really after everything you said about her? He cringed & whether she heard me or not I don’t care. I said so the whole date the night before was fake & he never intended to follow thru. Oh no he assures me it wasn’t. Really?? Then riddle me Fuckboy how you are going on a date with me Friday night & getting back with her on Saturday? I should have leaned around him & let her know that was his plan. hahaha! Instead I said oh ok so you just did to me what you said you hate people doing to you–not being over their ex & wasting your time. Oh no he keeps saying. I just calmly kept repeating yes you did before he finally relented & says well yeah I guess so, I’m sorry. I said hey, best of luck then & walked away. Of course after that I was done with him & moved on with my night, but he kept staring at my group so my friends took turns waving. I was like whatever Fuckboy. I have no time for lies & BS in my life. I am glad I approached him & called him out rather than be left wondering wtf.

So that wraps up September & into October for me. I’ll get more caught up this week!

Wheels up!

Waiting for my flight. It’s time for my annual trip north for my side job. I can’t wait!!! It will be so good to be around folks from back home & who I grew up with. 

I know I’ve been back from Canada only a little over a month but it’s time to get away again. There has been some drama among the friends & I don’t want any of it. I know it’s because they are unhappy & therefore pushing it on others. I recognize it cause I have been there & I refuse to get sucked back in. I have been trying to expand my circles and hang out with others. I’m also a lot more comfortable just being by myself so I do that too. 

I was supposed to meet a guy last night but when I let him know I was slightly delayed he asked to reschedule cause he had a big day at work coming & was going to bed. WTF??!! I don’t care that you want to reschedule. I don’t care that you’re going to bed early. What pisses me off is at WHAT point were you going to tell me you weren’t coming??? Yeah reschedule my ass. How about take a flying leap?? I sort of had a feeling he was a dbag cause he would text weird stuff & way too into what was I doing or with. And we hadn’t even met!! According to the Rules…NEXT!!!

The Rules…let’s give it a shot

So I read The Rules book and it left me intrigued so I just finished reading the next one. 

It’s a little more updated and addresses the dating issues more of today like texting & social media & online dating (the first book talked about personal ads in the newspaper…so cute!). I like the stories they share of other women when things did or didn’t work out. It really got me thinking about my dating over the years & how I either missed the flags or refused to believe them. How I handled situations wrong or reacted the wrong way.

So I’m jumping in & giving it a whirl! Here’s to dating now like The Rules suggests. For starters I re-did my online profile by updating the pics & totally changed the written description area. I chose some current fun casual pictures & made a brief 3 sentence bio. Guys don’t read much, they really do pick using their peckers & if he wants to know more he’ll contact me. I will no longer make first contact (per the Rules that’s a big NO). Which if I want a man who knows what he wants, I need to let him do his thing right?? Makes sense.

Right off the bat I get a message yesterday. But you don’t respond right away The Rules say so I waited. Can you believe he messaged me again this morning just to say hi? Interesting so far. I wrote back at lunch short & simple following the Rules (write less than him). BAM he responded asap. Again very interesting. I’ll respond later after the gym.

Another guy wrote this morning so I’ll respond later today. Guys I had been talking to I’m now following Rules procedures. Whether it works or not I have no idea! But I’m rather intrigued as the guys are acting exactly how the book predicted and it’s up to me to decide how to handle it. Typically old me would have been replying last night back & forth and then wondering why in a few days I still had no potential date? Or accepting last minute plans which shows I’m not a priority. Instead I’m going to sit back, put to use some of my new knowledge & see what happens.

was I catfished???

So the past few weekends due to rain & not getting off my lazy butt I’ve been watching a lot of mindless daytime tv. And the show Catfish on MTV is playing a lot of reruns. The premise is pretty simple…people meet online, develop relationships without meeting, the TV show has them meet in real life & sometimes they aren’t always who they claim to be. Shocker! Crazy! Imagine that?!?!?! lol

Anyways…it got me thinking. Is Will catfishing me? The last time I heard from him was Monday of this week. The week before he talked to me on Tuesday, said he had to stay in Portland for another week for work, the trip then to STL got delayed a week, then he’d be back in FL, etc… Apparently his work was having some issues, trying to get caught up & restructuring with new employees & lost employees. Thursday he texts me there was a company meeting & changes within were being made. He’ll be doing less travel for on-site training, but he still has the FL & Portland accounts active so he’d be back in FL more plus a few other things. He seemed fairly confident & in my mind I was like well ok we’ll see when he gets back here how things play out between us when we actually get to date.

Fast forward to this past Monday afternoon when I get a text he lost his job. I responded after the gym with a sorry (what do you say? I mean it really sucks) & he called me right away. He was back in STL & the company had a meeting that morning where they let him go (basically he cost too much with travel, etc… so again in my eyes understandable). He claimed to already have a few leads & things set up cause he’d been sort of looking the past month. But who knows where he’ll end up location wise? I didn’t ask cause it’s none of my business I feel. Do what you have to do. He did mention a city in FL, but I didn’t respond & he didn’t further it. And I haven’t heard from him since.

But I am starting to wonder…was he even really being real? Is the ex-wife REALLY an EX?? When I asked he said yes he was divorced, but there were a few flags there that popped up. He never did get settled in down here so it’s not like he has to come back for anything. Was he really ever going to move here? He had no housing or belongings down here. His work paid for hotel & travel when he was here to do training & then poof…he’d pack up his bag & off to the other city. I always kind of wondered if I was just a side attraction for when he was down here? It was just this weird feeling I couldn’t shake. Not to mention it would be days (like 4-6) before I’d hear from him & then he’d pop up again.

Where things start to really not add up for me…the phone number he gave me he at one time he said was a work phone. I did notice he carried 2 phones once (he claimed that one was for his kids) & it seemed a little shady, but I never saw a 2nd phone again. If you lost your job in the afternoon & got your stuff/left the office, how are you calling me from the work cell number later on? Strange right cause wouldn’t work keep all their property?? So did you really lose your job or is that a rouse to explain why you won’t be back in FL? Also his name. When we met on Tinder (oh yes cause everything on there is TOTALLY legit lol) his name was William. When we met the 2nd time he said he went by Will & it was actually his middle name cause he didn’t like Michael growing up. But whenever he’d refer to himself in 3rd person he wouldn’t call himself Will. For example he’d say “the guys at work said oh Mike blah blah” or “I said to myself hey Mike blah blah”. Weird right??? I did tease him about which first name would he like to be called, but I never did really call him out on the name part when I caught the inconsistencies. Shame on me. And then there was his last name. He changed it when he was in his early 20’s to his real father’s last name (he didn’t meet his dad until then either). Now for a guy that does IT & all that technology type stuff & being 36 yo which is prime age for Facebook…he was fairly hard to google. I found nothing. The phone number didn’t hit anything. The names even when I tried a bunch of combos didn’t either. Another weird flag. And I’ll admit I am a pretty good stalker!

So just all those flags & inconsistencies & watching too much Catfish lately has me wondering….have I been catfished??? Was this all some guy just bored on the road inventing stories to entertain himself while away from his family & home?? Or even just a guy at home bored with life & needing a fake reality to escape to??

Weekend wrap up 

It’s been a good weekend. Friday night was kickball which went great! My team played Joe’s team & we beat them. Plus he never made it to 1st base. That was pretty sweet! I’m hoping the less fun he has perhaps the sooner he’ll go away. But it was a very fun night overall. I played the 2nd game for another team which went well. I’m feeling pretty strong and am playing consistently. Afterwards people went out for food & drinks so it’s nice to meet new people and hang out. 

Saturday I was determined to get to the beach since last weekend was a total bust sun wise. I met my friend Jess & her daughter so we had a girls day. Sun, sand, waves, making sandcastles, laughing….so much fun!! Saturday night was a friend’s birthday party. We met for dinner and then did an escape room place afterwards. I’ve done one previously with work, but nobody else had. It was fun! Little frustrating especially in the beginning cause we couldn’t get past the first puzzle but we eventually got there with some hints. I find those puzzles or clues I either “see” it right away or I never will. We were able to solve it in time barely which was a miracle! And everyone left still speaking to each other!! 😂

Today I’ve been a bum. I was hoping to get some more beach time, but they were saying rain showers all day which it did. So I slept some, watched tv, read. Yup I’ve been reading this book. And it’s working!! 😲 No shit it really is. I mean I’m not taking it as the gospel, but skimming thru & reading parts really has made me think how I do things or have in the past. So I’ve tried a few times doing what the Rules suggest. And it worked! I’m going to keep trying it & see how it goes. What do I have to lose??

Hello weekend 

Ahhh…made it thru the week. 😜 Which was soooo long it seemed. Granted I started off with a few late nights but it just felt like I couldn’t catch up. Work just drug out. A lot is happening there, but it’s staying under control. The gym I just can’t back into. My energy level is blah. I know my diet it crap and I’m feeling it! Changing my food around and trying to make better choices. I can’t get away from the sugar sweet junk though. 

I was happy on Thursday night to get to talk to Will. He’s still out west for work a few more days before he flies to the Midwest to spend a week with his kids. Then he’s finally coming back here!! Yeah I’m a little excited. We had good conversation (seems like we always do) talking about everything & nothing. I am looking forward to actually getting to spend some time together and see where it goes. 😊

Kickball last night was awesome! Our team won, but I also made a HUGE play when we really needed it & I’m not gonna lie…it felt great!!! It’s such a good time with friends and hanging out.

This weekend is pretty laid back. I’m hoping to get some beach time today if the weather allows it. Want to do some reading as well. Have a friend’s going away party tonight. Not sure about tomorrow yet. Maybe a movie? See how it goes.

Happy weekend all!! Do what makes you happy 😁