When does one leave the nest? The cushy home your parent(s) have created for you where you can (pretend) to be king/queen of the castle with no responisibility & your needs are magically taken care of? I think the sterotype I grew up with was after high school going away to college & after graduation continuing upon the path of life with your own housing. The option I took was attending a local college & after getting a 2 year degree then moving out. My parent’s didn’t make or push me, but I was approaching 21 & had been fairly independent during my college days (I house/pet sat tons & wasn’t really home much anyways) so living with the parentals didn’t seem super appealing. Found a roommate & moved to an apartment.
The reason I bring this up is the boyfriend (we’ll call him Prince Charming or PC 😉 ) spoke with his oldest (21) about moving out this past weekend. Let me tell you the amount of drama that has rained down since. I am amazed by the truly awful things she has also said to PC even though the egg donor is who ran off in the divorce & had a very strained relationship with her girls ever since so he raised them. The funny thing is yes she was crying (nothing new…she cried for 6 weeks about a boy she barely knew this summer) but said she knew it was coming. She is also not homeless…the egg donor has a room for her & she stays there often anyways. In fact she was who opened the door to this conversation by stating she was going to stay at mother’s “for awhile”. Apparently the latest story is PC has kicked her out, the egg donor is texting what a terrible father PC is & his friends are contacting him cause kid #1 has gone running to them crying she is homeless. Draaaammmaaaa.
I don’t recall moving out ever being this dramatic…with ANY of my friends. And we all left our nests at various points between 18-20 somethings under different circumstances. The sad part I pointed out to PC is he is actually parenting rather than being the kids BFF which they sadly can’t even recognize cause their mother is so focused on just being a bestie.
So what say you? Is leaving the nest REALLY this dramatic nowadays for offspring?
Oh where has time gone?? I have been MIA & I apologize, but life has been good. Amazing I know.
I have been living in the house since May. After I moved in I was really over the whole house project thing & took most of the summer off from dealing with it. I had a kid who mowed the yard as needed & a pool guy, but the rest of it coasted. I didn’t even feel like decorating. Around mid-August I started getting the bug again & wanting to be Susie Homemaker. I hired a real weekly lawn service after the kid failed to show up for over 3 weeks & my yard resembled some wild hay field. Now in the winter 3 weeks without mowing isn’t a issue, but during a rainy summer? Yeah I was THAT house on the street! Also fired & hired a new pool guy. Don’t want to do the work you claim I am paying you for…next. So that right there got the house looking back on track at least!
Dating wise…I have been seeing a guy since the end of May (also why the lack of posts I am sure). It’s going really well. I won’t lie…I kept waiting the 1st 8 weeks for the lying douchebag side to show up after my previous dating experiences. I finally listened to friends when they said to stop trying to find it. So we had a really busy fun summer! The only thing that creates an issue here are his 2 adult children who are 21 & 18. Things started out ok with both girls (oh yes so lucky its girls) but after a few weeks when they realized I wasn’t going anywhere things changed. And the things they come up with…let’s just say the blog will be interesting!
Wishing you a very Merry Christmas if I’m not back before!
It is official…I moved in to the house last weekend! PARTY!! 🙂
It’s going well. Things appear to be working for the most part. I found water outside by the water pump after work…turns out the gauge was leaking & a call to my water guy fixed that. Had my first pool casualty…found a frog floating (I didn’t kiss him). Let the pool man handle that & I need a new pool filter also.
Lesson 1 of homeownership – program all your contractors into your cell phone.
Lesson 2 of homeownership – have credit card handy. In fact just memorize the card info would be easiest.
Of course getting cable & internet hooked up has been a total nightmare. You would think I moved to middle of nowhere instead of an established subdivision of 1000s of homes? Seriously it shouldn’t be this hard. 2 hours on the phone regarding the internet Friday night resulted in a visit Saturday & 6.5 hours involved which still didn’t leave me with working internet! They have actually DOWNGRADED my speed to maintain the connection & have me flagged to keep testing/working on it. Today I just rec’d a call to reboot the modem & amazingly it’s working. Still going to monitor for a few days, but it’s working!!!! Now the really awesome news would be if they also lower the price of my service since I dropped to a lower package…stay tuned for that.
Cable…it’s been a week & the 1 tv isn’t working. At least my bedroom tv & DVR is so I can live with that. In 2 weeks I have an appt for another tech to come out (yes that is my choice to wait cause I refuse to miss work for this nonsense). Let’s hope that resolves the TV issue.
On the dating front…I reopened my online profile so there should be plenty of fodder to report back. I already am starting to wonder if any decent men do exist in my neck of the beach? Never heard again from Harvard aka Liar Liar so either he realized I figured his BS out or he heard me when I said lose my number. Went out for a drink with a new online match…pretty much a waste 2 seconds after I walk in I realized. When I found him in the back corner of the bar, he admitted to “hiding & seeing what I would do”. Really douchebag? I should have walked out, but damn me for being too polite. Instead I stayed an hour & then had to burn all my clothes cause it was a such a smokey disgusting hole in the wall joint. I have nothing against small local places but it really was an awful hole for a 1st meeting & he just wanted to people watch he said so that’s why he picked it. Again, nice job douchebag.
Hopefully fingers crossed this internet continues working & I can report back more!
Well…what say you? I think the title says it all, but perhaps I am wrong?
Yeah as you can guess things with Harvard went from fine to not in the matter of a few days. I can honestly say things were going well. I introduced him to a few more friends & still no red flags. I felt like this was an actual adult relationship. He treated me well. We were having fun. Things were progressing naturally. I was…gasp…happy!
Then I started looking a little closer last week. Hmmm…over a month & I still hadn’t met anybody from his world. I don’t mean the kids, but friends, co-workers, anybody. Definite red flag waving. We know when a guy (or girl cause I’ll admit to doing it) doesn’t include you in their life there is a reason…and usually it’s cause they don’t plan on you being around long term. Even giving him a benefit of doubt of being newer here himself & it not being easy to make friends (which I fully appreciate being in the same boat), I still could see how it looked shady. Adding in a few other things…I started to wonder what going on.
A chat Friday night walking home from cocktails turned into him needing to “analyze” his thoughts & “process” before he’d respond. WTF??? He never had a problem with honesty before even when it could have used some sugar coating. Fine I will play along. Saturday was a text he had “processed” & decided my issues were him not acting boyfriendy (his word) & it wasn’t fair to me he was on this path of self rediscovery after the ex (whom they broke up a year ago & let me say…she was BAT SHIT CRAZY). Again, fine. But where does this leave us…moving forward together or what? Let’s meet later for drinks & talk is what I get back. Yes he keeps wanting to meet in public not because I am nuts, but it’s what he came from. Whatever.
So we meet up. We start talking. I feel I am the only one talking cause he has to “process” before he can respond. Ever try having a 1 sided conversation? Finally he gets caught off guard I suppose & the phrase “I am not committing” comes out. Cha-ching…an answer! Now I admit I am a bit pissed cause several times thru out I had asked if this was friends or what & he always was no he wants more than friends so we were moving forward towards relationship I thought. Why didn’t he say this at the very first dinner we went on? “oh by the way I’m not looking to commit” Wow, that wasn’t very hard! At this point I don’t have anything to say cause what can you say to that? Thus the false advertising IS lying to me. He then proceeds to talk about how people come into your lives for a reason & even if this doesn’t work out we can be friends yadda yadda yadda. At this point I start processing that 1–he didn’t care if this worked or not cause he thought we were still going to be friends & 2–he really seriously thought we could just be friends now? I said “uhhh no” to which I finally get the first actual true reaction from him cause he didn’t “process”. I am not going to hang around on the side while he gets it on with other girls in front of me. He was completely floored I was not cool with this!! I said “in fact, if we aren’t together you can lose my number for awhile. Maybe we’ll talk someday, but I guess it depends where I am at & feel like, but yeah definitely lose my number for awhile”.
So here it is a few days later & I haven’t heard a peep. Not that I expect to since I told him to disappear so I suppose I really have an answer now. I’m not sure what I feel, but I think disappointment for sure. I don’t understand why people have to lie or mislead? What for? The truth is going to come out. And don’t proclaim to be an honest person when you start out falsely advertising yourself.
Still am not living in my “new” to me home, but my friends did last week. They are from up North & needed a break from the winter blahs. I said the house isn’t all cute fixed up yet BUT everything works, the pool is running & it’s free to stay so welcome. I am happy to say not only did they LOVE the house but everything worked…thank you to my fabulous contractors!!! They are already planning return visits. It feels so good to not only see dear friends from back home, but to give to them as they have given to me.
Speaking of feeling good…Serta (who I shall rename Harvard) is turning out to be a pretty decent guy. Granted it’s only been a few weeks so I don’t want to wear the rose colored glasses like some fool but it’s going well. A few friends have met him & no crazy red flags have been spotted yet. I am treading cautiously but with hope.
If you read my past entry, I got a free bed last weekend from a friend. Except it wasn’t really her bed. It was her neighbor’s. Who was pretty cute & apparently single cause he asked me out. A free bed + a date…who’s life is this I am living??? Well I just got home from a pretty enjoyable evening! We laughed & talked, he let me drive his car (a sweet Mercedes with a V8…arr power)…and holy balls he even paid for dinner (a nice dinner may I add). Not in that douche now you have to sleep with me or what can I get from this way. He then followed up with some cute text after he dropped me off. I don’t know what future Serta (yes that can be his name) holds, but at least he’s an excellent reminder there ARE good guys out there! 🙂
So the “let’s see what happens” guy from last week. Yup, he sent an email Sunday night after never following up with plans to meet over the weekend. I wish they could at least try to not be so predictable.
And Troy…he’s still hanging in there with his random texts. Of course one came tonight while I was out with Serta. Haven’t decided yet if I am going to respond. I’m tired of being the one he texts when he has the kids or is bored at work & wants adult conversation. Even friendship is a 2 way street & this became a 1 way road awhile ago.
The house is coming along this week. The reroof shall be complete tomorrow. Of course they had to lay practically all new plywood cause it was a rotted mess under the old shingles, but what can you do? My philosophy all along has been “do what you need to do”. I am not going to half ass a job now only to need to re-do it in a few years when it breaks or the quick fix fails. After meeting several water companies all with different ideas of course of what to do that range from $2000-4000 & multiple water testings, I am going with the guy who said my current water softener will work if we get it running right & a new pressure tank. Bill should be under $500 & he’ll show me how to maintain it all myself. DEAL!
In online dating world that is the phrase of death I have learned.
It starts so promising every time…somebody with a profile that sounds appealing, a few emails back & forth without him acting like a douchebag, a suggestion to meet up for drinks or equally casual and then 2 things occur. 1–boy wonder disappears cause he wasn’t real (hello Catfish!) OR 2–“what’s your schedule, yeah this weekend, oh let’s see what happens”. Then NOTHING happens. About 2 weeks later an email “hey we never got together” (no shit Sherlock you never followed up) only to have the same thing happen again. Except I have gotten smarter…2 strikes & you’re blocked. Don’t waste my time.
Is it wrong of me to expect somebody to make plans? I have seen the movie & read the book “He’s Just Not That Into You” and some of it stuck with me. If a guy WANTS to see me, he WILL make it happen. By that I mean actually make plans, set up a date, etc… None of this let’s see what way the wind blows me that day crap. Am I right? Perhaps it is the great Sunshine State that encourages this la de dah attitude towards making plans or committing to do anything? Yes I do live on an island, but I use clocks…island time while cute to say or do when on vacation is extremely frustrating to live around full time. Maybe the Windy City in me just can’t slow down yet?
So here I am on another Friday night after a “let’s see what happens” email from a guy earlier this week. He will get one more shot before the block…but in the mean time I’m going out. Yes Virginia, it turns out there ARE people down here who DO makes plans in advance!