In online dating world that is the phrase of death I have learned.
It starts so promising every time…somebody with a profile that sounds appealing, a few emails back & forth without him acting like a douchebag, a suggestion to meet up for drinks or equally casual and then 2 things occur. 1–boy wonder disappears cause he wasn’t real (hello Catfish!) OR 2–“what’s your schedule, yeah this weekend, oh let’s see what happens”. Then NOTHING happens. About 2 weeks later an email “hey we never got together” (no shit Sherlock you never followed up) only to have the same thing happen again. Except I have gotten smarter…2 strikes & you’re blocked. Don’t waste my time.
Is it wrong of me to expect somebody to make plans? I have seen the movie & read the book “He’s Just Not That Into You” and some of it stuck with me. If a guy WANTS to see me, he WILL make it happen. By that I mean actually make plans, set up a date, etc… None of this let’s see what way the wind blows me that day crap. Am I right? Perhaps it is the great Sunshine State that encourages this la de dah attitude towards making plans or committing to do anything? Yes I do live on an island, but I use clocks…island time while cute to say or do when on vacation is extremely frustrating to live around full time. Maybe the Windy City in me just can’t slow down yet?
So here I am on another Friday night after a “let’s see what happens” email from a guy earlier this week. He will get one more shot before the block…but in the mean time I’m going out. Yes Virginia, it turns out there ARE people down here who DO makes plans in advance!
I have kept with online dating despite the lack of success for several reasons. How does one meet people nowadays? I don’t care to hang at bars to meet a barfly, most of my friends are coupled up & perhaps who knows…it just might happen?! I think my profile is pretty on target of who I am & what I am looking for. My pictures are all recent & appropriate…no naked bathroom selfies or my hoo-ha exposed. Not interested in playing games & DEFINITELY not looking for an email buddy.
So what gives??? Why all the sleazy douchebags contacting me? One guy in his profile said he pays college girls to escort him & then he writes me wondering why I wasn’t just beyond thrilled to meet his old ass & go on trips with him or be impressed by his home in a gated community (let’s be honest…all assisted care facilities are fenced in!)? Ummm….because it’s not what I am looking for perv! Another just told me to f—- myself because I won’t drive 75 miles to randomly meet him & I must only want a toothless redneck. I responded how charming he was & wished him good luck.
Let me also add…the guys who are the biggest dicks are the most unrealistic. They aren’t Ken dolls, they aren’t rich, they sure don’t have it all going on….but they want the girl with EVERYTHING. I think they confuse online dating with online shopping & think they can order up a girl like it’s the <fill in your online shopping site> & hit the check out button. Perhaps my criteria is too low…be single, have a job, like to laugh/have fun, wants a relationship…so I’m not filtering out the crazy?
Chime in here…keep hoping it might happen online? Any ideas where else to try meeting sane single fun grown ups?
Living well is the best revenge.
I don’t know who said or when, but IT IS SO TRUE!!
I recently ran into a mutual acquaintance from when I had dated what turned out to be a lying piece of shit douchebag last spring. He disappeared with another girl leaving me to wonder wtf after we had been together several months. I knew his life wasn’t all the roses he claimed when about 4 months after falling off Earth he suddenly found my number. For about 6 weeks last fall every couple of days he’d pop up. I wondered if he’d joined AA & was on the apology step? Obviously this girl had learned her lesson & wasn’t about to go backwards so he finally gave up. But what little I did learn from his texts & calls was amazingly delightful…everything I could have ever hoped to happen did. God is good!! And seeing this mutual (turns out to be his now former) friend last week filled in the gaps with even better news. He got himself fired, moved away, lost
his friends, financial issues…TOTAL AMAZEBALLS. I really enjoyed just sitting back & listening. 🙂
So folks there is no need to waste time seeking revenge….live your life the best you can & people will get what they deserve. And if you are really lucky you get to watch! I look at my life since last summer…yes it was rough to start cause nobody likes being dumped but things are so much better than if I would have remained with this POS DB.
So what is with guys & the random haven’t heard from you here’s a text?? Really…you just thought of me now after how many days or weeks or MONTHS that you just suddenly wanted to know how I am?? Call it what it is….you’re looking for some booty & want to know if it’s available. Let’s just be honest…we are all adults or so one would think!
I was the lucky recipient of TWO texts like that this weekend. One from a guy named Troy (FYI all names will be modified not to protect the stupid but so we can poke fun should anybody I know in real life ever find my blog). Troy has been around for several months as a friend, I think (thought?) he was a decent guy & I would have liked more of a relationship with him. The new year rolls around & things started (I thought) moving forward for us. Yay right? But when I casually asked where this was going…he pulls the “well I have kids” card. No shit Sherlock, I wondered who those little people were all these months (yes I have met & hung out with the 2 daughters)! I even said to Troy if all this is IS just friends hooking up just say it. Then I got “well whatever I do has to be for the best of the girls cause it’s not just me”. Again no kidding?? I have to admit I got a little pissed at this point & my feelings hurt cause while I have been called many things in life, a poor or bad role model has never been one of them. Especially when compared to their delightful less than respectful egg incubator who is not winning any parenting awards may I add. So this weekend after almost 2 weeks of disappearing (not even a hey there on Valentine’s) I get the “hi hope the house is coming along & everything is good”. Might I add we not only work together (not directly but same company) but are also Facebook friends (and I am a fairly active FB-er). So when Troy sends these random texts I find it rather entertaining cause 1-you know how I am & 2-if this is a booty text YOU FAIL. Are guys really that dumb or is it just Troy?
The other random text came from a guy I have listed in my phone as Douchebag (first name). I admit this threw me a little as I couldn’t recall him. And apparently listing people as Douchebag ______ in my phone is fairly common I discovered also. I then remembered after searching this was a guy a co-worker had set me up with (so I couldn’t be totally rude to him) A YEAR AGO. We went to dinner once. He complained about what I ate (I ordered the same meal as him), asked if my hair was dyed (I have highlights), how I smelled (I did shower that night) & finally my favorite….my height like I can do anything about it. I am almost 5’11” so depending on what shoes I wear it can alter, but seriously?? Obviously I saw no future for us & after his running commentary figured he didn’t either. Apparently I was wrong cause every once in awhile I get the random text from him. WHY???? He asked what was new (code for have I met anybody). I said I moved. That’s not a total lie. I just didn’t mention it was only a few miles. 😉
And update on the home repair/moving front….it’s going well!! Got quite a bit done this weekend. My tree remover guy is really getting into my “if it looks dead, ugly or high maintenance rip it out” instructions. Unfortunately for my neighbor man I may have inspired his wife cause now today I hear on the other side of the fence his chain saw firing up & trees moving in the jungle. Their backyard looks like Jurassic Park when the dinos are moving the bushes but you can’t see them! You would then hear neighbor lady yell at him to keep going or what to hack down next when he would stop. I fear he is probably not very happy with me.
Ahhh….the joys of buying a foreclosed home and dealing with contractors. Who knew the tile guy could turn into such a high maintenance drama queen?? My plumber & electrician–bless their hard working show up to work souls–can’t finish their jobs cause the HMDQ took over a 2+ car garage and most of the empty home (all he had to tile was the 3 bedrooms). I am trying to not go apeshit, but really…just get the job finished that you told me would be done last Thursday so we all can move on. Argh! On the plus side the tree removers started…I never thought I would find a chainsaw, truck & chains so exciting. Progress is happening. The hard part is going to be approaching my new neighbor who don’t seem to care about their yard that I will be removing any trees hanging onto my property.
Did we all survive the greatest single person reminder of the year?? I didn’t jump off the end of the pier so it was a success in my book. I love my guy friends…they sent me some texts during the day & made me laugh. Shout out to the good guys still out there!! You give me hope 🙂 And I got some great discount chocolate on Sunday.
So I have decided to try a blog…because I like writing…I probably could use some advice/feedback….it’s cheaper than therapy.
To get started, here is the 411 on moi…I am now getting closer to 40 than I am to 30 (thus the title). Female. Single. Never married/no kids. I relocated myself a short time ago from west of the Windy City to the Gulf Coast of FL. Bonus…no more snow/cold. Bad…I am now in the youngest demographic group. Don’t get me wrong, life is good down here…but part of the reason I opted to move was to see if I could meet somebody new & find love. I know it sounds corny, but I am hopeful.
I should add I also recently purchased a home. My first home! A bank owned vacant foreclosure. I have watched too much HGTV while home on Friday nights & it also fit my budget. I am also not handy so this will be an adventure.
Bare with me while I learn & figure out blogging…offer your advice (it will be needed & asked for!)…and let’s have some fun! 🙂