Waiting for my flight. It’s time for my annual trip north for my side job. I can’t wait!!! It will be so good to be around folks from back home & who I grew up with.
I know I’ve been back from Canada only a little over a month but it’s time to get away again. There has been some drama among the friends & I don’t want any of it. I know it’s because they are unhappy & therefore pushing it on others. I recognize it cause I have been there & I refuse to get sucked back in. I have been trying to expand my circles and hang out with others. I’m also a lot more comfortable just being by myself so I do that too.
I was supposed to meet a guy last night but when I let him know I was slightly delayed he asked to reschedule cause he had a big day at work coming & was going to bed. WTF??!! I don’t care that you want to reschedule. I don’t care that you’re going to bed early. What pisses me off is at WHAT point were you going to tell me you weren’t coming??? Yeah reschedule my ass. How about take a flying leap?? I sort of had a feeling he was a dbag cause he would text weird stuff & way too into what was I doing or with. And we hadn’t even met!! According to the Rules…NEXT!!!
I am starting to wonder? Between friends dating or staying with terrible people I am really over the drama.
Friends who stay in unhappy miserable relationships and complain about it. I don’t know what to say anymore. This isn’t high school. You know it’s not working. Or you know you deserve better but don’t want to be alone (one girl actually said that!). You have choices yet you choose to stay in it. Sorry but after the first “omg we broke up crisis” and you keep going back I’m just not gonna hear it. Or you keep saying what a crappy loser he is. I should say I’ll listen but I’m not going to say anything. You aren’t listening anyway. And don’t be surprised when I’m less and less available to hear about the drama too. I’m just past it.
Maybe cause I follow the policy of shame on you the first time & then its shame on me for the times after that?? When Joe walked out the 1st time it was a huge deal for me. My friends were there. They were supportive. When I got back with him a month later I didn’t say much to people cause I knew I had no one to blame but myself for going back. And then months later when I was really stupid and went back for a 3rd time I knew it was ALL on me. I knew my friends wouldn’t understand me & to be honest I couldn’t blame them! I had no idea why I was being so stupid?! But at least I recognized I was being dumb and didn’t expect them to be there for me. Hello we all saw what was coming & bless the day I finally had MY moment so I could walk away! I keep hoping my friends will have those revelations too.
Maybe because I’ve chosen to address my issues (I realize not everyone does) and work on myself I don’t care to go backwards. And that’s what I see them doing so it’s frustrating to me. I’ve been trying to change up my routine and social circles to get around less drama people. I don’t want to totally ditch my friends, but I can’t handle all the unnecessary drama. It’s like if you have a friend who is usually great until they start excessively drinking then it all goes to shit? So you avoid situations with them that include alcohol. That’s how I feel with my friends in shitty relationships…I just want to avoid that part for now. I’m still working on me & I don’t want to get sucked into going backwards.
Does that make me a shitty friend? 🤔
Wowzers….it’s been a month. Sorry folks I am a bad blogger lately. Which is a shame cause I’ve had so much happen to share. So here’s some quick catch up which I’ll divide into 3 areas: before Canada, in Canada & back from Canada. 😊
So before I left in June for Canada I never did see Will again. I think his mom being here visiting and away from the kids for the 1st Father’s Day really got to him so the free weekend he did have (the one before I left) he went back to STL for kid time. Kind of a bummer cause I had tons of fun things happening he could have joined in on, but I also understood the need. On that note since we don’t have any commitment & have only hung out a few times I did have another guy ask me out so I went. We actually met at a mutual friend’s Memorial Day party & he asked her for my number (she asked me first). Met Mark for dinner on a week night cause I was days away from leaving. He seemed cool and we chatted awhile. I met him again for dinner the night before I left. Still unsure how I feel about him but I’m in no rush so left things with stay in touch the next few weeks.
Hung with friends at the beach and parties before I left. So much fun!! Glad to blow off some steam cause I knew the Canada trip was going to be hard work. Interesting side note…I got a friend request from a guy that turns out (yeah I do some checking before accepting) to be Joe the ex’s new roommate. Wtf??!! 😵 Initially I thought hell no deny that shit, but then I wondered what the game was so I waited. I spoke to this guy over 2 months ago once and to randomly send this now??? Like right after moving in with Joe? Hmmmm I did end up accepting the request but with setting restrictions so he can see only my public info. Have to see how this plays out. A few days later he followed me on other social medias that I do have public (I don’t post much personal info on those so enjoy 😂). Again it’s just weird.
Got my stuff packed and organized for Canada. Got my work organized as best I could for being out of the office over 2 weeks. The trip to Canada turned out to be nothing like the past 3 trips I’ve done previously. 16-18 hour days on your feet & oops oh you didn’t get lunch? I don’t mind hard work, but some appreciation and consideration is nice. I’ve also not been around CRAZY people in quite awhile. I stay away from that. I don’t work for that anymore. I’m not friends with that. And here I was unfortunately stuck in the middle of full on psycho crazy! Obviously next time I’ll be asking a lot more questions before I accept going on a trip like this again. I did get out of town for 2 weeks which in some ways was good. I could tell the drama was getting to me & I needed to break away. I got paid and that pays for the vacation I want to take next year so yay!!! I enjoyed Calgary again & would love to visit when I can do what I want and see the area. It really is an amazing place.
I got home last Monday. It took ALL day & 3 flights but I was back in my bed at 10:30pm. I slept a lot on the flights and on my layover in Dallas which helped. I’m just so body sore & my poor feet are a wreck. I figured it’ll take 2 weeks to recover and it looks like I’m right. I spent Tuesday running errands and catching up before returning to my real job Wednesday. And that actually hasn’t been as messy as one would have thought. Yay!! I did make it to the gym once and sort of muddled thru a workout of what didn’t hurt or was healing.
I had therapy appt last week. Which I felt pretty good! I could have probably used the visit before, but I sort of feel like a lot of my anxiety and stress is gone. Or I’m just so tired I don’t give a shit. 🤔 I told my therapist she would have loved the group I was with for 2 weeks and they made me feel VERY normal. We laughed a lot.
I spent this weekend low key. Kickball started up again so I had games Friday night and then I went out with my girl Jess. We had fun! Saturday I got some beach time in!!! Today I walked a little & ran some errands. Just being a bum and resting which feels good! I’ll get more on my routine this week which will be nice.
Is it really a bad thing?? 😂😂
I mean Joe gave me his word a month ago he was done playing in our joint activities. Yesterday I spoke to him for 5 minutes to confirm. He said he was still going to play kickball. Fine don’t be a man honoring his word but no shocker. Then 30 minutes later he’s texting me (I asked who it was lol) saying he’s gonna play cornhole & kickball. Again no big surprise he lied. He just doesn’t get it. What guy wants to hang around where his ex is?? Why??? My friend told my I’m trying to reason with a 5 yo so I have to remember that. He claims I’m the one with the problem cause he’s over me. I said well I’m over you too but I don’t want to hang out with you creeper!
He then proceeded to text with me last night and this morning until he deemed me crazy. So I laughed cause now I feel like I got him all upset instead of me feeling upset. He said he’s blocking me again. Ohhhhh do I look hurt?? You contacted me dumbass. Seriously. What did I ever see in this douchebag?? I forget though he hangs out with people 20 years younger–I don’t think he’s got any friends his age (49)–so I need to talk down to that level.
And again…if you think I’m crazy then go away. Like I care what you think? I’m hoping if it’s not a fun warm place for him then maybe he’ll eventually quit. Cause we all know he’s a quitter & won’t stick around.
He got mad when I sent him this. Hahaha!!! Bonus points me!
I think I’m a pretty “real” person in that whatever I say is what I’d say to your face. It makes it real easy cause I don’t have to worry about word getting back to people and so forth. So the last week for me has been rough. Because of Joe joining our kickball league (run by my brother) has stirred up my anxiety. Not because I’m not over him but cause I’m ticked my friends expect loyalty from me but don’t give it in return. Wtf. They complain about Joe. They shit talk him. Yet here he is at our stuff.
Tonight on my way home after dinner with friends I stopped by Joe’s house. Yup. Pulled in and knocked on the door. I was sort of on auto pilot trying not to panic at this point. Asked him if we could chat when he opened the door & he let me in. Apparently he was sick (that’s what you get for making out with skanks but I didn’t share that cause it wasn’t productive) so I stood back. But I said my part. Pretty much that I steered clear of him and why couldn’t he be respectful and steer clear of me and my friends. He said he wouldn’t play cornhole again or kickball after this season which I was like whatever. Now I’ll be the bitch for making you leave? I said can you be respectful cause how would you feel if I brought guys around each week & shoved it in your face?? He said he hadn’t thought about it cause he felt enough time passed but he wasn’t sure how he would react. I said try considering mine. Quit creeping me.
So who knows what will happen. He’ll probably claim to not recall any of the conversation if I call him out later. But whatever. It made me feel better and at least I know I was being true to myself saying it all to his face rather than behind his back. And controlling my actions is all I can do.
So it doesn’t involve me directly but there has been some drama in the housing situation again.
Part 1…2 weeks ago I get a text from the main roommate that the other guy (who I share the bathroom with) is moving out. She’s upset cause he only gave 5 days notice so she asked if I ever want to leave to give more notice. Ok fine. Understandable but with no contract or deposit to lose unenforceable. Honestly you have to jump on housing here and if I’m moving I’m not going to miss out so I can give her enough notice.
Part 2…which now leads to the reason she’s upset is cause she’s getting married! In a week and half! So financially this leaves her in a bit of a pickle. But who is she marrying cause #1 had suddenly popped up a few days before?? Or is it #2 who’s she’s been dating a few months?? I had to actually point blank ask who cause I was so confused!!! Turns out it’s #1. So back to the guy she was with when I originally moved in. She’s happy and it’s not my life so whatever.
Part 3…except it leads to this which has me a little upset. When the other roommate left I asked about finding another and was told oh no they are going to leave it empty. Plus with the wedding planning of less than 2 weeks they are busy so I figured down the road. They get married Friday and leave for the honeymoon. I have the house all to myself. Until I come home Sunday evening to find some strange man unpacking and claiming to be the new roommate. Uhhh WTF!?!??! Luckily I had POS with me cause I was like who are you and what’s going on??? I mean he seems ok but seriously. I was told nothing. I get they are busy with the wedding but they were able to ask me to pay rent a week a early so they’d have cash for the honeymoon so obviously SOME things they can remember. The lack of consideration is irritating and will be remembered when I give notice to move out some day.
I stayed at POS’s house last night cause I wasn’t staying in the house with some random strange man by myself. I’ll be having a little chat with the roommate when I get home tonight. I mean really who does that???