Tag Archives: feelings

Hump day ho hums

Blah the rain. Yes we needed it. Yay we are ok longer a high fire risk. The grass is green & growing. But come on…since last Thursday night it’s been on/off & starting Monday pretty much all day rain. ☔️ So over it. I miss the sun. I miss my activities. I would like to not be wearing my raincoat all the time. 🙄

Monday started out with me driving to work & a low tire pressure light going on. On the tire I just replaced 6 weeks ago. Work was a bit of a shit show cause apparently people didn’t do things while I was gone which made meeting the deadlines that day insane. I left work & hauled ass to the car dealership so they could look at the tire. Turns out another nail (WTF??!!) and the computer needs to be adjusted cause it was the other side that was flat (not the side it was saying). Again wtf??? Thank goodness again for that extra tire warranty cause that’s another $400 I didn’t have to shell out when they ordered the tire. 🙏 I then headed to the gym where my face & jaw was starting to hurt so much I half assed it just get it done. I apologized to my awesome trainer…she knows when I’m not right & isn’t a jerk about it. I had taken a pain pill at work early, but I can’t drive on them so couldn’t take another. Got home, made dinner & went to bed! 👊

Tuesday more rain. More of the same work crap (still catching up). But changed my dinner plans when cornhole cancelled! My favorite local event is going on…restaurants offer fixed menus for a low price for 2 weeks. Usually these are upscale or places I never go so trying to get to a few new ones again this year. Except my frigging tooth pain is really putting a damper on things!! Nevertheless I was determined last night to eat & it was fabulous. Had a good time catching up with my gf & her bf. One of my favorite stores is having their semi annual sale so I stopped there & can you believe I found exactly what I have been looking for?? On sale??!! That never happens so it made for a much improved day!! And I got a cute new dress for peanuts at the thrift store on lunch break. Day improving. 👍

Today again it’s raining. Yeah shocker. 😂 I’m hitting the gym after work & then home. I need an early night to catch up. My tooth is still hurting & it’s been a week so I’m thinking there is something else wrong? I have a follow up dental appointment tomorrow.

Good news…William & I have continued to stay in touch. He’s back in Seattle, but coming home Sunday so we’re doing dinner that night. Date #2!! I’m trying not to be too excited or get ahead, but I am looking forward to seeing him & spending actual time together. It’s been almost a month we’ve been “talking” yet have only met that one time. Which is really weird for me (I’ve never done anything like this before) although I like it! How crazy is that? Things are moving slow which is good right now cause I have a lot of my own stuff going on. Fingers crossed 🤞 

Birthday expectations = 00

Tomorrow is my birthday 🎉 And to avoid any disappointment or getting upset I have my expectation level at ZERO. Zilch. Nada. 

Is that sad? Is it wrong I have to do that? I don’t know. I mean I would love for somebody to recognize and make a deal out of my birthday like I have done for others. Even when I’ve been dating someone they never seem to do much. Yeah I get to pick a birthday dinner. Sometimes a present. But flowers? A party? Organizing a simple get together? Yeah that stuff only happens if I do it. And let me say it gets real old doing it for yourself.

So here I am on the eve of my final bday hitting the end of my 30s. I got some sushi to go & have a quiet evening planned. Get a good nights rest & be ready to expect nothing tomorrow.

Happy birthday me 😊

Walk the walk

I think I’m a pretty “real” person in that whatever I say is what I’d say to your face. It makes it real easy cause I don’t have to worry about word getting back to people and so forth. So the last week for me has been rough. Because of Joe joining our kickball league (run by my brother) has stirred up my anxiety. Not because I’m not over him but cause I’m ticked my friends expect loyalty from me but don’t give it in return. Wtf. They complain about Joe. They shit talk him. Yet here he is at our stuff.

Tonight on my way home after dinner with friends I stopped by Joe’s house. Yup. Pulled in and knocked on the door. I was sort of on auto pilot trying not to panic at this point. Asked him if we could chat when he opened the door & he let me in. Apparently he was sick (that’s what you get for making out with skanks but I didn’t share that cause it wasn’t productive) so I stood back. But I said my part. Pretty much that I steered clear of him and why couldn’t he be respectful and steer clear of me and my friends. He said he wouldn’t play cornhole again or kickball after this season which I was like whatever. Now I’ll be the bitch for making you leave? I said can you be respectful cause how would you feel if I brought guys around each week & shoved it in your face?? He said he hadn’t thought about it cause he felt enough time passed but he wasn’t sure how he would react. I said try considering mine. Quit creeping me.

So who knows what will happen. He’ll probably claim to not recall any of the conversation if I call him out later. But whatever. It made me feel better and at least I know I was being true to myself saying it all to his face rather than behind his back.  And controlling my actions is all I can do.