March is arriving like a lion. RAAWWRRR!!!
Life is going well. I am almost scared to say that though. My new year resolutions of ignoring unhappy people & getting rid of time wasters is working out super. I have been hanging around positive people & focusing on my needs. I am actually done playing cornhole for now which is a little weird after 4 years every week, but it was time to try some new stuff. You would think it would free up 2 of my evenings, but it really doesn’t cause I am trying to get ready for upcoming 10Ks so I am putting in more time walking. I do get home earlier though which is a nice trade off.
I am playing in 2 kickball leagues which is fun! The Wednesday night crew is fun & we actually have hung out outside of kickball so meeting more people is great. We are getting ready to end the season, but most of us will be returning next season. Friday night kickball just started & will be a good time. The bonus part–Joe the creeper couldn’t fill his team so they aren’t playing this season! And since I am not playing Tuesday cornhole right now that means I NO LONGER HAVE TO SEE HIM!!!! Isn’t that amazing??? That’s how it frigging should have been 2 years ago!!! Life is so good. lol
Work has been ok. It is more enjoyable since I am doing just my job duties. I feel less stress & am much more caught up. An opening in another department did come up in February & yesterday I applied. I don’t know where it will go or if anything will even come of it, but at least I did it! The job closes on March 9th so it will be a bit before I hear anything either way.
My diet is good–I hit 12 pounds lost this morning! I have been sticking to my food plan except for the alcohol (lol I know). I might try to decrease it a little more to like 1000 calories a day & see what happens. Just under 4 weeks left in the gym challenge so I am motivated! I feel stronger & have really been putting in effort at the gym. A few people who haven’t seen me lately said my shape is changing & I am looking thinner so there is some progress! I was pleased last month also to become a Just Strong ambassador. They are a fitness clothing company in the UK that promotes & encourages women. So not only is it fun clothes to wear around, but I love the message of girl power being spread! If you decide you want to order I can give my discount code! http://www.juststrongclothing.com
So all in all I LOVE that March is roaring in!!! Feel the power! Know your value! 💙💚💛🧡❤️
I have really been trying to stick with my food & exercise program which is going pretty well! This is the middle of week 3. Weeks 1 & 2 showed great progress…I lost 7 pounds & was very active. Unfortunately I was also body sore from throwing myself in with such gusto & constantly moving for steps. lol I tried to level out my schedule. Now week 3 hasn’t been so great…I’ve actually gained a 2 pounds & while I am still being active to meet my weekly goals, it’s not as much activity as the previous weeks. I also had a couple snacks (nothing crazy, but still) from the food diet. Bad me!
Activity wise I am going to the gym 3 days a week. I have to say I am really enjoying it! I was afraid the extra visit a week would get tedious or burn me out & I would start to hate it (that’s happened before), but I haven’t felt that way at all so I am very surprised. Perhaps it’s just working into my schedule that I don’t notice the change? I also really enjoy the gym atmosphere (it’s a good social place for me) & the workouts themselves constantly change so it stays fresh. Using my FitBit (gosh I love that little gadget!) I set some goals weekly for myself which I find is working better for me than daily goals. By having weekly goals instead it allows me a little slack if I need a light day (either to recover or if I am too busy) & then I can go hard again. My weekly step goal is 70,000 & for active minutes is 300. I like having active minutes cause when I am riding my bike or working out I am still getting “credit” per se without having to walk around so I can do other activities. I have been meeting my goals so perhaps at week 4 I will do an increase.
The food portion is going well. Obviously having meals prepared & delivered to you ready to go doesn’t get any easier. The 1st week I had a national company, but the shipping charges were as much as the food so it was ridiculous & unsustainable for more than a month or maybe 2 if I really stretched the dollars. I did more research & found a local business that offers a lot more pricing & varying food options plus weekly delivery is $6 versus $150. YAY!!! The food is really good! I have no restrictions, not a picky eater (obviously!) & said I just wanted a balanced meal plan so I let them pick everything. Sticking to about a 1200 calories per day. I thought I would be starving compared to the monster portions I was eating before, but I am not. I have even skipped meals if I go out or I’m not hungry which I know isn’t good, but eating just cause I should eat doesn’t seem right either. I’ve definitely been getting more vegetables and items I normally wouldn’t be eating which is good. For the gym challenge we have to keep a food journal so that part has been very easy for me & obviously my food choice are spot on. I am told every week to cut the alcohol out (hahahaha!!!), but let’s be real…I want to make changes that are going to last & start having overall better long term habits. Can I go without booze for this 8 week challenge? Sure. But I am not going to live the rest of my life that way so might as well learn how to balance it.
Imagine that…eating balanced meals with regular exercise has me feeling good, losing weight, plenty of energy, my skin is better, my mood is better. I guess my trainers might actually have a clue what they’re doing. Yeah, they love me. hahaha!!!
I decided January was pretty much just me getting ready for 2018 to start February 1st. So I’m a little delayed 🤷🏼♀️ Being sick wiped me out for several weeks and I finally started feeling better last week. But it gave me time to think and decide on a plan of attack moving forward.
My diet has to change. The weight has to go. 40 is coming & I refuse to start it like this! In January I upped my gym member ship to 3 days a week which was a good start, but my food intake is wildly out of control. 😭 So starting this week I am having pre-made meals delivered to home. The fat kid can’t be in charge cause obviously I have no control! I’m on day 3 of reduced calories and better eating…no one has died. Honestly though I feel better. And I’m not hungry. Amazing what properly planned meals can do and it makes it very simple which is also nice.
The Wednesday night kickball is going well. The team I was put on is really fun & we have a good time playing. It’s nice to meet a whole new set of people. The cornhole on Tuesday ended with us winning the finals!!! And we eliminated Joe on the way to the end which was an added bonus to the night. YAY!! 😝🏆 Not sure if we’ll play next season & have a month off so in the mean time I’m attending track workouts with my gym group on Tuesday nights. Gotta get those steps in!
Work is going ok. I’ve had some duties taken from me recently which I got upset about originally, but upon further thought it was stuff that wasn’t my job to do & now I’m freed up to do my actual job. It’s really improved the stress level for me having things simplified. Now my coworker is freaking out with all the added duties she has but hey…it wasn’t my choice. Hearing how cranky or unhappy she is makes me realize how bad I probably sounded. Glad it’s not me anymore!
Mom was just down here to celebrate her birthday. We went to Disney for a few days & had a really good time! Did the Aloha dinner and also did a tour at Magic Kingdom (take the Keys to the Kingdom tour–amazing!!). Our relationship has really improved. I’m hoping my parents will be back to visit again in the next few months. Dad is having knee replacement next week 🤞
It’s been a busy week so I’m looking forward to the weekend!
Unfortunately I came down with the plague that is going around last week. I would like to thank all the asshole customers who came into our work sick & coughing on us thinking it was funny. Really it’s not. I made it to work Friday morning to do our 1st (un)organized walk before work, but then I left shortly after. Most of my department got wiped out as well & called in sick.
Saturday I had plans with friends I’ve been waiting 2 weeks for so I was determined to feel better. I medicated myself (I actually did feel better too) & off we went for the day. But it was too much cause that night I got back in bed & didn’t leave it for 2 days. I haven’t been sick like throwing up (that would be a good sick to have!), but just head cold & sinus & no energy. Others have it much worse. I’ve heard it can take some weeks to fully recover, but I am trying to keep myself somewhat on schedule. Too much time off & I fear I will never catch up! Monday was a holiday from work, but a total waste since I spent it in bed.
Tuesday I went to work, but only half our department showed up so we were all moving pretty slow. lol After work I stopped by the gym & spent my “class” just walking on the treadmill. Luckily my trainer was really cool about my lack of participation. lol I wanted to do something, but no way did I have any energy to really work out! I do need to start getting ready for my upcoming 10K (March 3rd!) even if I am just walking so I have to get more steps in. I then had cornhole which was pretty good overall. We won the 1st game & then had to play Joe’s team. Which we started out losing, but then won the next 2 rounds so YAY US!!! Not gonna lie–whooping on him a little did make me feel better. hahaha!! Next week is the playoffs & then I’m not sure what’s happening. I don’t know if my partner will want to play another season although I have had a good time playing with her.
Today is going pretty well. Feeling a bit better than yesterday so continuing on the upswing. I have my 1st kickball game with the new team tonight, but not until 9:30!! EEK! And the temps are supposed to drop into the 30’s tonight so I am going to freeze! lol Time to find all the layers I had on a few weeks ago.
A year ago I hit rock bottom & knew I needed help. I know everyone has different ideas of what that is, but for me…throwing up everyday, couldn’t stop losing weight, feeling out of control yet so tired, not giving a shit yet so over analyzing to exhaustion, being numb inside with a smile on the outside & basically just being a zombie for the last 6 months.
I knew it was beyond me helping myself. The pep talks weren’t working. The “get your shit together” & “he’s not worth it” mantras weren’t helping me. Bless my friends who stuck by me & for loving me no matter how crazy I acted. I felt defeated, beat down, helpless. I needed change and it was going to take help to achieve it.
I found a primary care dr & got myself a physical. She put me on the Xanax. I didn’t want just meds to solve the situation…I wanted to know how to handle the issues so I (hopefully) never found myself in this spot again. I found a therapist I liked & started addressing the issues. I joined a gym. I was so skinny I needed some strength (I’ll be vain & say that WAS a perk of all this was I looked smokin hot for my 20 year reunion!). Mentally strong as well as physically which my amazing trainers have offered. I needed to reevaluate my circle of friends and acquaintances. The wolf pack as I called them became smaller, but I invested more in those relationships and know who I can count on. They are still standing with me today while the others have fallen wayside. I joined a church. I’m not the most consistent attendee, but I have opened my heart & mind which has allowed me to see so many of the blessings I have. Plus it’s an amazing group of people to be around! I have repaired & improved the relationship with my parents which was huge.
None of this was easy. It took me months to accomplish those things & then find a routine that worked for me. It’s still not easy at times when I feel something starting to unravel, but I have learned how to recognize & get myself back on track. I have eliminated “crazy” from my life in any form & I avoid it at all costs. It’s just not worth having it! I really have learned what anxiety is too. I realize now this isn’t something that happened to me over night. Looking back starting in my teens I see where there were times it was affecting me but I was able to channel it better or actually even hide it in some ways without even knowing what was wrong with me. Bless my mom for she was clueless…she would just tell me to suck it up if I faltered or showed weakness. Having relocated to a new area and not having any support system so when “bad” things would happen left me totally exposed. No routine, no security, no way to cope…no wonder I fell apart.
It’s a work in progress. Right now I’m in a good place which feels great! When it starts to get rough I give myself a timeout to regroup. The last few months have definitely had some up & downs to work thru. I still deep inside sometimes see the hot mess of a year ago, but slowly that girl is starting to fade. Life is good. 😊
Ahhh…made it thru the week. 😜 Which was soooo long it seemed. Granted I started off with a few late nights but it just felt like I couldn’t catch up. Work just drug out. A lot is happening there, but it’s staying under control. The gym I just can’t back into. My energy level is blah. I know my diet it crap and I’m feeling it! Changing my food around and trying to make better choices. I can’t get away from the sugar sweet junk though.
I was happy on Thursday night to get to talk to Will. He’s still out west for work a few more days before he flies to the Midwest to spend a week with his kids. Then he’s finally coming back here!! Yeah I’m a little excited. We had good conversation (seems like we always do) talking about everything & nothing. I am looking forward to actually getting to spend some time together and see where it goes. 😊
Kickball last night was awesome! Our team won, but I also made a HUGE play when we really needed it & I’m not gonna lie…it felt great!!! It’s such a good time with friends and hanging out.
This weekend is pretty laid back. I’m hoping to get some beach time today if the weather allows it. Want to do some reading as well. Have a friend’s going away party tonight. Not sure about tomorrow yet. Maybe a movie? See how it goes.
Happy weekend all!! Do what makes you happy 😁
Life is rolling along. Getting back in my routine more which of course I love! Unfortunately I’m still feeling body sore from Canada so the gym hasn’t been a full fledge go ahead but I enjoy going for the socializing and the stretching & doing whatever I can.
I’ve spent the last 2 nights at cornhole. Which means I’ve been up late and need sleep! But I’m actually playing pretty well so I’m pleased about that. It’s been nice to see friends and catch back up. Looking forward to kickball on Friday!
The dating scene….hmmm. So Will & I continued to text some and even spoke twice (it’s a challenge when several time zones apart) the past few weeks. I don’t think he gets back to town here for another 1.5 weeks but who knows cause I haven’t asked lately. Part of me is happy taking it slow but another part of me is also feeling like a side thing. You know…for when he’s back in town & needs somebody to hang out with or something to do. He’s no more settled or committed to living in this area than when I met him mid-May. I understand the work travel and even going back to see the kids (which he’s been doing a lot so that makes me wonder if something is up?) takes up time, but living like a nomad has to be old. Wouldn’t you want to get settled if this is where you are going to be living? I’ve done it & it sucks after awhile. I know he’s having stress and issues with work so I’m just stepping back to see what happens. We haven’t spoke in a week now so that’s kind of weird? I did last week invite the other guy (Mark) to a trivia night I went to with my friends. There was something I just couldn’t really put a finger on, but I decided that night it just wasn’t for me. I’m not sure we have much common or anything to build on. I like to go out, travel, do things. He’s created a little happy space at his home where’s he content to be. Which is cool cause that makes him happy but that’s probably also the age gap too. I have dated up to 10 years older in the past which I haven’t noticed to be an issue, but perhaps as I get older I see the differences more now? Mark is probably closer to 15 years older & it’s definitely noticeable to me.
Today was national daiquiri day so I went out with coworkers for happy hour. Had some laughs. Ran some errands and am calling it an early night. I feel like my sleep pattern is out of whack. I’m not eating great. So it’s no shocker I feel blah. Time to get myself rebooted!