So I read The Rules book and it left me intrigued so I just finished reading the next one.
It’s a little more updated and addresses the dating issues more of today like texting & social media & online dating (the first book talked about personal ads in the newspaper…so cute!). I like the stories they share of other women when things did or didn’t work out. It really got me thinking about my dating over the years & how I either missed the flags or refused to believe them. How I handled situations wrong or reacted the wrong way.
So I’m jumping in & giving it a whirl! Here’s to dating now like The Rules suggests. For starters I re-did my online profile by updating the pics & totally changed the written description area. I chose some current fun casual pictures & made a brief 3 sentence bio. Guys don’t read much, they really do pick using their peckers & if he wants to know more he’ll contact me. I will no longer make first contact (per the Rules that’s a big NO). Which if I want a man who knows what he wants, I need to let him do his thing right?? Makes sense.
Right off the bat I get a message yesterday. But you don’t respond right away The Rules say so I waited. Can you believe he messaged me again this morning just to say hi? Interesting so far. I wrote back at lunch short & simple following the Rules (write less than him). BAM he responded asap. Again very interesting. I’ll respond later after the gym.
Another guy wrote this morning so I’ll respond later today. Guys I had been talking to I’m now following Rules procedures. Whether it works or not I have no idea! But I’m rather intrigued as the guys are acting exactly how the book predicted and it’s up to me to decide how to handle it. Typically old me would have been replying last night back & forth and then wondering why in a few days I still had no potential date? Or accepting last minute plans which shows I’m not a priority. Instead I’m going to sit back, put to use some of my new knowledge & see what happens.
So the past few weekends due to rain & not getting off my lazy butt I’ve been watching a lot of mindless daytime tv. And the show Catfish on MTV is playing a lot of reruns. The premise is pretty simple…people meet online, develop relationships without meeting, the TV show has them meet in real life & sometimes they aren’t always who they claim to be. Shocker! Crazy! Imagine that?!?!?! lol
Anyways…it got me thinking. Is Will catfishing me? The last time I heard from him was Monday of this week. The week before he talked to me on Tuesday, said he had to stay in Portland for another week for work, the trip then to STL got delayed a week, then he’d be back in FL, etc… Apparently his work was having some issues, trying to get caught up & restructuring with new employees & lost employees. Thursday he texts me there was a company meeting & changes within were being made. He’ll be doing less travel for on-site training, but he still has the FL & Portland accounts active so he’d be back in FL more plus a few other things. He seemed fairly confident & in my mind I was like well ok we’ll see when he gets back here how things play out between us when we actually get to date.
Fast forward to this past Monday afternoon when I get a text he lost his job. I responded after the gym with a sorry (what do you say? I mean it really sucks) & he called me right away. He was back in STL & the company had a meeting that morning where they let him go (basically he cost too much with travel, etc… so again in my eyes understandable). He claimed to already have a few leads & things set up cause he’d been sort of looking the past month. But who knows where he’ll end up location wise? I didn’t ask cause it’s none of my business I feel. Do what you have to do. He did mention a city in FL, but I didn’t respond & he didn’t further it. And I haven’t heard from him since.
But I am starting to wonder…was he even really being real? Is the ex-wife REALLY an EX?? When I asked he said yes he was divorced, but there were a few flags there that popped up. He never did get settled in down here so it’s not like he has to come back for anything. Was he really ever going to move here? He had no housing or belongings down here. His work paid for hotel & travel when he was here to do training & then poof…he’d pack up his bag & off to the other city. I always kind of wondered if I was just a side attraction for when he was down here? It was just this weird feeling I couldn’t shake. Not to mention it would be days (like 4-6) before I’d hear from him & then he’d pop up again.
Where things start to really not add up for me…the phone number he gave me he at one time he said was a work phone. I did notice he carried 2 phones once (he claimed that one was for his kids) & it seemed a little shady, but I never saw a 2nd phone again. If you lost your job in the afternoon & got your stuff/left the office, how are you calling me from the work cell number later on? Strange right cause wouldn’t work keep all their property?? So did you really lose your job or is that a rouse to explain why you won’t be back in FL? Also his name. When we met on Tinder (oh yes cause everything on there is TOTALLY legit lol) his name was William. When we met the 2nd time he said he went by Will & it was actually his middle name cause he didn’t like Michael growing up. But whenever he’d refer to himself in 3rd person he wouldn’t call himself Will. For example he’d say “the guys at work said oh Mike blah blah” or “I said to myself hey Mike blah blah”. Weird right??? I did tease him about which first name would he like to be called, but I never did really call him out on the name part when I caught the inconsistencies. Shame on me. And then there was his last name. He changed it when he was in his early 20’s to his real father’s last name (he didn’t meet his dad until then either). Now for a guy that does IT & all that technology type stuff & being 36 yo which is prime age for Facebook…he was fairly hard to google. I found nothing. The phone number didn’t hit anything. The names even when I tried a bunch of combos didn’t either. Another weird flag. And I’ll admit I am a pretty good stalker!
So just all those flags & inconsistencies & watching too much Catfish lately has me wondering….have I been catfished??? Was this all some guy just bored on the road inventing stories to entertain himself while away from his family & home?? Or even just a guy at home bored with life & needing a fake reality to escape to??
So the guy (William) I met with Tuesday last week…is going well. I say that cautiously cause my faith in men is zero but I’m trying to be optimistic.
We met for a drink which was going so well he suggested having some dinner. I of course took the opportunity to suggest dessert (which he loved!) so we had sundaes. We had good flowing conversation about all sorts of topics. After dessert he knew I had to get going for the cornhole meet up, but I said fuck that…I was having a good time meeting somebody with potential so WHY am I going to leave to go somewhere uncomfortable that I don’t HAVE to be??? So I stayed. Sent my girl a text so she knew my whereabouts & we continued on with our night. We took a walk around the stores & looked in windows or went inside. Just fun silly stuff. Then we stopped for a final drink at a beachy bar. It was a really good evening.
William then left the next day for Seattle where he’ll be for a good 2 weeks for work. During that time he’s taking a few days to fly back to the Midwest (home) to see his 2 kids. Since he’s recently moved to FL he tries to stay involved as much as he can. Luckily his work involves travel & is based by his kids so he can go back. But he’s continued to text & stay in touch with me which I think is a good sign.
I think it’s been good for me too. Meeting somebody new usually involves disappearing into a bubble, but with him gone I’ve kept my own schedule & plans. I’m watching my good friend disappear into the bubble with the girl he just met & hearing other people’s comments is rough. I am happy for him cause he’s happy so I understand how exciting it can be to meet somebody you click with & want to be around, BUT I have also learned I NEED to continue with my own life. I have worked way too hard to become my own person & as harsh as this sounds….I’m not going to toss it all aside for some new guy. I’m also not putting all my eggs in. Still continuing to be online & meet others so that helps keep things low key as well. I’m just taking things slow with anybody I meet & seeing what develops.
My birthday celebration is finally over. Drinks & dancing Saturday night did me in. Oh but it was fun!!! I’m so very blessed to have good people around me. Sunday after a slow start I ended up at the beach with friends. The annual cookout was a success & great time. I got a tad too much sun. Oops!! I do love where I live. Monday I got up early to run my errands & then I was back home in bed before it got super warm. My reward was a lazy day!
Tonight is the first official cornhole night of the other league. It will be nice to see the new people playing & catch up. Hopefully the ones I don’t care for will steer clear. 😂 Tomorrow is removing the rest of my wisdom teeth. My mom is on her way down now. I think she was just worried & being a mom even though I had arrangements with my roommate. Lucky him he’s off the hook now! So when you hear from me again I’ll be on a bunch of happy pills. Woo hoo!!!