Tag Archives: tinder

The Rules…let’s give it a shot

So I read The Rules book and it left me intrigued so I just finished reading the next one. 

It’s a little more updated and addresses the dating issues more of today like texting & social media & online dating (the first book talked about personal ads in the newspaper…so cute!). I like the stories they share of other women when things did or didn’t work out. It really got me thinking about my dating over the years & how I either missed the flags or refused to believe them. How I handled situations wrong or reacted the wrong way.

So I’m jumping in & giving it a whirl! Here’s to dating now like The Rules suggests. For starters I re-did my online profile by updating the pics & totally changed the written description area. I chose some current fun casual pictures & made a brief 3 sentence bio. Guys don’t read much, they really do pick using their peckers & if he wants to know more he’ll contact me. I will no longer make first contact (per the Rules that’s a big NO). Which if I want a man who knows what he wants, I need to let him do his thing right?? Makes sense.

Right off the bat I get a message yesterday. But you don’t respond right away The Rules say so I waited. Can you believe he messaged me again this morning just to say hi? Interesting so far. I wrote back at lunch short & simple following the Rules (write less than him). BAM he responded asap. Again very interesting. I’ll respond later after the gym.

Another guy wrote this morning so I’ll respond later today. Guys I had been talking to I’m now following Rules procedures. Whether it works or not I have no idea! But I’m rather intrigued as the guys are acting exactly how the book predicted and it’s up to me to decide how to handle it. Typically old me would have been replying last night back & forth and then wondering why in a few days I still had no potential date? Or accepting last minute plans which shows I’m not a priority. Instead I’m going to sit back, put to use some of my new knowledge & see what happens.

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was I catfished???

So the past few weekends due to rain & not getting off my lazy butt I’ve been watching a lot of mindless daytime tv. And the show Catfish on MTV is playing a lot of reruns. The premise is pretty simple…people meet online, develop relationships without meeting, the TV show has them meet in real life & sometimes they aren’t always who they claim to be. Shocker! Crazy! Imagine that?!?!?! lol

Anyways…it got me thinking. Is Will catfishing me? The last time I heard from him was Monday of this week. The week before he talked to me on Tuesday, said he had to stay in Portland for another week for work, the trip then to STL got delayed a week, then he’d be back in FL, etc… Apparently his work was having some issues, trying to get caught up & restructuring with new employees & lost employees. Thursday he texts me there was a company meeting & changes within were being made. He’ll be doing less travel for on-site training, but he still has the FL & Portland accounts active so he’d be back in FL more plus a few other things. He seemed fairly confident & in my mind I was like well ok we’ll see when he gets back here how things play out between us when we actually get to date.

Fast forward to this past Monday afternoon when I get a text he lost his job. I responded after the gym with a sorry (what do you say? I mean it really sucks) & he called me right away. He was back in STL & the company had a meeting that morning where they let him go (basically he cost too much with travel, etc… so again in my eyes understandable). He claimed to already have a few leads & things set up cause he’d been sort of looking the past month. But who knows where he’ll end up location wise? I didn’t ask cause it’s none of my business I feel. Do what you have to do. He did mention a city in FL, but I didn’t respond & he didn’t further it. And I haven’t heard from him since.

But I am starting to wonder…was he even really being real? Is the ex-wife REALLY an EX?? When I asked he said yes he was divorced, but there were a few flags there that popped up. He never did get settled in down here so it’s not like he has to come back for anything. Was he really ever going to move here? He had no housing or belongings down here. His work paid for hotel & travel when he was here to do training & then poof…he’d pack up his bag & off to the other city. I always kind of wondered if I was just a side attraction for when he was down here? It was just this weird feeling I couldn’t shake. Not to mention it would be days (like 4-6) before I’d hear from him & then he’d pop up again.

Where things start to really not add up for me…the phone number he gave me he at one time he said was a work phone. I did notice he carried 2 phones once (he claimed that one was for his kids) & it seemed a little shady, but I never saw a 2nd phone again. If you lost your job in the afternoon & got your stuff/left the office, how are you calling me from the work cell number later on? Strange right cause wouldn’t work keep all their property?? So did you really lose your job or is that a rouse to explain why you won’t be back in FL? Also his name. When we met on Tinder (oh yes cause everything on there is TOTALLY legit lol) his name was William. When we met the 2nd time he said he went by Will & it was actually his middle name cause he didn’t like Michael growing up. But whenever he’d refer to himself in 3rd person he wouldn’t call himself Will. For example he’d say “the guys at work said oh Mike blah blah” or “I said to myself hey Mike blah blah”. Weird right??? I did tease him about which first name would he like to be called, but I never did really call him out on the name part when I caught the inconsistencies. Shame on me. And then there was his last name. He changed it when he was in his early 20’s to his real father’s last name (he didn’t meet his dad until then either). Now for a guy that does IT & all that technology type stuff & being 36 yo which is prime age for Facebook…he was fairly hard to google. I found nothing. The phone number didn’t hit anything. The names even when I tried a bunch of combos didn’t either. Another weird flag. And I’ll admit I am a pretty good stalker!

So just all those flags & inconsistencies & watching too much Catfish lately has me wondering….have I been catfished??? Was this all some guy just bored on the road inventing stories to entertain himself while away from his family & home?? Or even just a guy at home bored with life & needing a fake reality to escape to??

Hump day ho hums

Blah the rain. Yes we needed it. Yay we are ok longer a high fire risk. The grass is green & growing. But come on…since last Thursday night it’s been on/off & starting Monday pretty much all day rain. ☔️ So over it. I miss the sun. I miss my activities. I would like to not be wearing my raincoat all the time. 🙄

Monday started out with me driving to work & a low tire pressure light going on. On the tire I just replaced 6 weeks ago. Work was a bit of a shit show cause apparently people didn’t do things while I was gone which made meeting the deadlines that day insane. I left work & hauled ass to the car dealership so they could look at the tire. Turns out another nail (WTF??!!) and the computer needs to be adjusted cause it was the other side that was flat (not the side it was saying). Again wtf??? Thank goodness again for that extra tire warranty cause that’s another $400 I didn’t have to shell out when they ordered the tire. 🙏 I then headed to the gym where my face & jaw was starting to hurt so much I half assed it just get it done. I apologized to my awesome trainer…she knows when I’m not right & isn’t a jerk about it. I had taken a pain pill at work early, but I can’t drive on them so couldn’t take another. Got home, made dinner & went to bed! 👊

Tuesday more rain. More of the same work crap (still catching up). But changed my dinner plans when cornhole cancelled! My favorite local event is going on…restaurants offer fixed menus for a low price for 2 weeks. Usually these are upscale or places I never go so trying to get to a few new ones again this year. Except my frigging tooth pain is really putting a damper on things!! Nevertheless I was determined last night to eat & it was fabulous. Had a good time catching up with my gf & her bf. One of my favorite stores is having their semi annual sale so I stopped there & can you believe I found exactly what I have been looking for?? On sale??!! That never happens so it made for a much improved day!! And I got a cute new dress for peanuts at the thrift store on lunch break. Day improving. 👍

Today again it’s raining. Yeah shocker. 😂 I’m hitting the gym after work & then home. I need an early night to catch up. My tooth is still hurting & it’s been a week so I’m thinking there is something else wrong? I have a follow up dental appointment tomorrow.

Good news…William & I have continued to stay in touch. He’s back in Seattle, but coming home Sunday so we’re doing dinner that night. Date #2!! I’m trying not to be too excited or get ahead, but I am looking forward to seeing him & spending actual time together. It’s been almost a month we’ve been “talking” yet have only met that one time. Which is really weird for me (I’ve never done anything like this before) although I like it! How crazy is that? Things are moving slow which is good right now cause I have a lot of my own stuff going on. Fingers crossed 🤞 

Guy #2…potential

So the guy (William) I met with Tuesday last week…is going well. I say that cautiously cause my faith in men is zero but I’m trying to be optimistic. 

We met for a drink which was going so well he suggested having some dinner. I of course took the opportunity to suggest dessert (which he loved!) so we had sundaes. We had good flowing conversation about all sorts of topics. After dessert he knew I had to get going for the cornhole meet up, but I said fuck that…I was having a good time meeting somebody with potential so WHY am I going to leave to go somewhere uncomfortable that I don’t HAVE to be??? So I stayed. Sent my girl a text so she knew my whereabouts & we continued on with our night. We took a walk around the stores & looked in windows or went inside. Just fun silly stuff. Then we stopped for a final drink at a beachy bar. It was a really good evening. 

William then left the next day for Seattle where he’ll be for a good 2 weeks for work. During that time he’s taking a few days to fly back to the Midwest (home) to see his 2 kids. Since he’s recently moved to FL he tries to stay involved as much as he can. Luckily his work involves travel & is based by his kids so he can go back. But he’s continued to text & stay in touch with me which I think is a good sign.

I think it’s been good for me too. Meeting somebody new usually involves disappearing into a bubble, but with him gone I’ve kept my own schedule & plans. I’m watching my good friend disappear into the bubble with the girl he just met & hearing other people’s comments is rough. I am happy for him cause he’s happy so I understand how exciting it can be to meet somebody you click with & want to be around, BUT I have also learned I NEED to continue with my own life. I have worked way too hard to become my own person & as harsh as this sounds….I’m not going to toss it all aside for some new guy. I’m also not putting all my eggs in. Still continuing to be online & meet others so that helps keep things low key as well. I’m just taking things slow with anybody I meet & seeing what develops. 

My birthday celebration is finally over. Drinks & dancing Saturday night did me in. Oh but it was fun!!! I’m so very blessed to have good people around me. Sunday after a slow start I ended up at the beach with friends. The annual cookout was a success & great time. I got a tad too much sun. Oops!! I do love where I live. Monday I got up early to run my errands & then I was back home in bed before it got super warm. My reward was a lazy day!

Tonight is the first official cornhole night of the other league. It will be nice to see the new people playing & catch up. Hopefully the ones I don’t care for will steer clear. 😂 Tomorrow is removing the rest of my wisdom teeth. My mom is on her way down now. I think she was just worried & being a mom even though I had arrangements with my roommate. Lucky him he’s off the hook now! So when you hear from me again I’ll be on a bunch of happy pills. Woo hoo!!!

Feeling back in the game

I feel like I am getting back in the game again.

First my weight is at 168 lbs. Yay me! It’s been holding there for the past week which I think is a good sign. Obviously I’m still reaching for my goal of 160, but this is definitely signs of encouragement for me. Keep staying active & really think about what I eat!!

Next off…my dating life. It’s gotten a bit of a revival recently. Online dating is a necessary evil I feel to just try to meet more people. Where else can one go? As much as I do & try to spread my social circle it seems to be with a lot of people already in relationships. I have basically been using 2 sites (Tinder & Bumble) to find matches. Thanks to Tinder this week I have 2 meet ups.

#1 was last night after my cornhole league was over he stopped by the bar for a drink. His name is Mark. We had a very nice 2 hours of chatting & hanging out. I liked him & would like to get to know him more, but there are some obstacles. He works a goofy schedule (commercial pilot) which I totally understand & he also has 4 daughters ranging from 9-12 yo (a set of twins in there). So he’s pretty busy! Plus his divorce has only been officially final for a month so even though it’s been over, it’s now freshly over you know? He admits he’s just trying to get back out there & attempt having a social life with his job/kids which I appreciate his honesty. But here’s my deal…I know what I bring to the table. I don’t want you to be with me cause I’m the 1st girl you dated after divorce or cause you had a few weird encounters online & you think I’m really normal (yeah he said that lol). I want somebody who recognizes what a catch I am, WANTS to be with me & treats me accordingly. So go out there & date some other women so you can appreciate what I have to offer (sane, employed & financially responsible for starters which many woman down here aren’t!). He said he’d like to meet again which I said sure & to stay in touch with our schedules! So we’ll see….

#2 is happening tonight. Meeting for drinks. William is closer to my age. Grew up in the Midwest also. We have texted some, but I don’t know a whole lot about him so I am curious. Looking forward to it! Then I need to make an appearance at my other cornhole league which is having an opener meet & greet tonight. Honestly I just didn’t feel like hanging out with Joe & his partner Katie (shitty girl in previous posts) for a whole evening. It makes for an awkward time (watching her hang on the married guy is weird) & I have better things to do & people to hang out with. William is going on a work trip for 2 weeks & this was our only chance to meet before. Plus I’m crazy…remember? hahaha!!!

**only 2 more days til my birthday. Gosh that 40 is getting closer….