I type this as I’m flying back south after a weekend visit to Chicago. Less than 48 hours there, but an interesting trip for me. The reason for this trip was the wedding (the bachelorette party from last month) & as a bonus I got to see my dad for Father’s Day!
It started Friday after work. First flight was fine. Delays all over at the next airport which wasn’t affecting me initially, but eventually my flight was 40 minutes late leaving. Whatever. I wasn’t in a time crunch & I wasn’t going to be bothered by something I can’t control. Holy cow other people were super pissed though so I enjoyed dinner at my gate & some late evening entertainment! I landed really late, got my Lyft & made it to the hotel by 1:30am so not too bad. Yay!
Saturday morning after being up over 20 hours & with the time change I only got a few hours nap we’ll call it. Since it was 8am & I didn’t have to be ready for the wedding shuttle til 3pm…I went to the hotel gym. I know? Who the fuck am I?? I have become the weird person who works out AND LIKES IT on vacations. 🤷🏼♀️ I then went to breakfast at the restaurant & enjoyed a leisurely meal before I went back to nap some more & get ready. I pondered the pool but it was indoors and didn’t have good chairs to read or sleep on.
As I sat there eating breakfast I realized how much I have changed. I came all by myself on this trip (not even meeting up with my BFF as my wedding date), hadn’t spoke to anyone (outside of hotel or airport interactions) since I left work Friday & was actually doing things (not just hiding in my room) AND I WAS OK WITH IT. Ding ding. Wow big girl moment! I dare say I felt quite at ease and comfortable with my own company. I am always surprised when people tell me they won’t do things on their own cause it makes me then wonder how little I would be doing if I hadn’t adopted the just do it mentality 5+ years ago? Honestly I didn’t always feel comfortable or I’d feel very self conscious doing things solo especially if it was a couples or group type thing but I just kept pushing myself to go rather than miss out. Eventually I just ignored the feelings & did whatever it was. But this was the first time I honestly could say I was comfortable with being by myself.
The wedding Saturday by the way was amazing! It was outside at an estate in a very upscale area and all top notch. I got to see the girls I met last month all gussied up plus several friends I hadn’t caught up with since I moved so it was very enjoyable. The bride & groom were a beautiful couple and I am so happy everything was perfect for them! Except the bloody heat & humidity. It was sweltering sitting there for the ceremony so I can only imagine how the wedding party felt standing. Seriously I never want to hear anyone bitch about Florida heat again! I mean if you are in the center of the state or some shithole area by all means but you brought that on yourself honey. I live on the Gulf & we have breezes and there’s never been a triple digit day. Now the Chicagoland area…they are having severe heat watch or whatever they call it & it’s like the face of the sun trying to breathe. I don’t miss any of that! I’m so happy to be on the plane headed south right now 🤣
I was a bum this morning. I considered working out again, but that would make 4 days in a row when I get home which I’ve learned doesn’t work for me. I need a recovery day if I want my workouts to be effective. My parents picked me up at the hotel & we went for Father’s Day lunch on the way to the airport. I was so happy to see my Dad today as I haven’t gotten to spend it with him in the 5 years since I moved. Plus I haven’t seen him since November for his birthday. We talk on the phone and stay in touch regularly but it’s just not the same. The parents are going on a vacation next week but I encouraged Dad at least (mom’s working) to come visit even for a few days after that so maybe.
All in all it was a great trip! I realized I’ve had a lot of personal growth which is good to see. I’m happy to be heading home though. I upped my gym membership this month & I’m having my food delivered again this week. I need to get back on track for my weight goals. I was so close and the last 2 weeks its gotten ugly. 😖 All on me & I know it so time to get serious again. The 4th of July is mygoal now!
May is going by sooooo fast & that makes me a little sad cause it’s MY BIRTHDAY MONTH!!! I want it to linger as long as possible especially since the BIG 4-0 is here. At least I am back in town now for a bit. But so many fun plans I can’t wait for!
Just got back from a weekend bachelorette party on the other side of the state. Honestly I haven’t been to that side in almost 20 years & it’s not where I could live. The beaches aren’t even comparable. The houses are pretty to admire though. The area is very over priced so going out is expensive, but it was a fun time. There was 10 of us girls sharing a house & I think we did pretty well. Only a little drama from some of the bridesmaids. lol We did do a bike bar thing one afternoon where everyone pedals & we stopped at a few bars. That was so much fun! I definitely recommend that for any type of group outing.
The rain this week has been non-stop. And the love bugs. I have never seen anything like that even though I have lived here for 4.5 years. WTF???!!!! When the swarms come I am not going outside! HELL NO. Then my car adventures…2 weeks ago I had to replace all 4 tires. It was time & I knew it was coming so I wasn’t shocked when the dealership told me (I was there for an oil change). Still a chunk of change though to part with. Then I notice last week when washing it there is a big spot on my rim missing from either taking the tires on or off. Now I am not your typical flakey girl when it comes to my cars…I am very on top of it & take care of it so I notice this stuff. Back to the dealership I go where they notice none of the rims look right (there was black coming thru the silver). A day later I get a text that 4 BRAND SPANKING NEW rims are being ordered & will be put on the car all at NO CHARGE cause it was factory covered. HELL YEAH!!!
Yesterday was my 2 year anniversary of moving out my house & to the “new” city. I have lived in 3 different places, but I really have found my niche I believe. I love the area I am in! It’s perfect for me location & activity wise & friends. I have to say I am happy in that aspect. Things have been an adjustment at the house. Living with kids has been a whole new adventure for me. They are a hoot though & I enjoy having them around. My room is still not unpacked which I am sure is my biggest problem. But who wants to clean & organize their bedroom when so much other fun stuff is happening? I suppose all the rain this weekend will help me do that. And I know once it’s done I’ll feel better too.
The dating scene….it is interesting. I know I am at a good point in my life where everything has come together & I even told my therapist last month I really feel ready to have a relationship. And I have faith that it will happen this year cause things are just going so well. But patience is just not my thing! Things with J are going ok. Before I went to Jamaica 2 weeks ago I wanted to have some sort of informal chat about where things were with us & unfortunately it happened over the phone which I would have preferred in person. What came of that is he does have fun when he’s with me, but he’s not out searching for relationship although he isn’t opposed to one happening. He’s not into labels. He hasn’t had a real serious anything since his divorce 3 years ago & while I respect that he got hurt badly, I am not going to deal with somebody who hasn’t dealt with their issues. Not doing that again!!! I have gone to therapy, faced my problems & am putting in the work to become a better me. I refuse to go backwards. I feel like he’s just very indifferent. If I am there–great. If I am not–ok. If he sees me–fun. If he doesn’t–oh well. And I want more. I AM WORTH MORE. I want a man who’s excited & wants to see me. When a week goes by he’s trying to make plans to see me. That’s just not happening here. J & I usually text or talk daily or every other day which is nice, but I don’t want a relationship with my phone. Not in the early stages of whatever this might be. I want to give things time & I am trying to be patient, but I also don’t want to be stupid wasting my time. It’s a very hard line I am realizing & I don’t do grey well. At some point I will need to decide. As of now he’s not able to attend any of my birthday plans or functions I have been invited to or am attending for the next few weeks. Which I am fine with some of it cause he has his kid, but I also feel at moments like this I want people around me who will be here in the future moving forward. If you’re not in it, then don’t come for the fun stuff. I don’t want you in those memories.
So with all that being said I re-opened my online dating profile last weekend and I have gotten some serious hits already. I have a lunch date Saturday. And possibly some others may happen too. I talked with my therapist about it yesterday. J has shown me his feelings & I need to listen. I am not totally writing him off as part of me wants to believe he could be the right guy so I will give him more time, but I am not putting out the effort anymore. We both have traveling in the next few weeks so I figure another month to see what happens. Either it will fizzle out or he will step up. In the mean time I am going to continue doing my thing & if I meet somebody else then so be it.
That’s all I heard the entire time I was in Jamaica 🇯🇲
Just got back Monday night. What a great time!! Secrets St James was really nice. Flew into Montego Bay with about 30 people from our group on Thursday. My friend from up north came down from Chicago Wednesday so getting up at 2:30am for our ride after being out late at kickball was REALLY FUCKING EARLY. And I’m a morning person who pops up with no coffee so imagine all the non-morning people. It was not good for awhile. 🤐
The resort was nice. The pool was great. Thursday was about a 20-22 hour long day for a lot of us (those 20 minute cat naps don’t count for shit) so I saw a lot of hangry happening. Then the booze kicked in. I will say they know to keep those drinks coming at the front desk & check in process…especially when some people couldn’t get in their rooms for a few hours & it was already after noon.
Friday was spent out by the pool. By then we had started to break off into little groups. The single/fun couples grouped up so we had about 7 of us that bummed around together & tried things out. We just waited for instructions on where to be & when, but otherwise had a good ole time doing our own thing. Went kayaking for a bit. Went in the ocean a few times when we got tired of the pool crowd. The weather was perfect! That night we broke off for our own dinner cause we knew trying to get 50 people together for dinner at the same place was gonna be an epic shit show. Heck even the bride’s mother joined us. lol We met up with everyone else after for (more) drinks & some of us continued on to the club later that night (waaaay more drinks!). Let’s just say that was an even bigger shit show. haha!!
Saturday we tried stand up paddle boarding before the water got rough & unfortunately by late morning the rain started coming & going. Luckily by wedding time later it was clear & the ceremony on the beach was just beautiful. The couple looked stunning & the backdrop was amazing. It was everything you could hope for. They had made the call for the reception to be moved inside which was really good as it did downpour hard a few times later on. The evening was a great time, but by 11pm I was dying (probably my less than 3 hours of sleep the night before) so I bailed. I didn’t feel too bad though as a lot of people were experiencing during the trip what we called “the Jamacians” which meant they weren’t leaving the bathroom. I was probably one of the few who didn’t get it. But I was also pretty conscious of what I ate & how much since my system had been messed up before the trip. My friend was sick Friday night, but on the plus side she said she didn’t think she’d gain any weight on the trip. lol
Sunday some of the people started leaving which about 1/2 our little group did. I have to say the day was a bit of a bust as it had a few really good downpours between the rain sprinkles. We tried the pool for awhile, but getting soaked by large COLD rain wasn’t working for me so I bailed. We did a fun hibachi place for dinner & stayed low key. I’ll miss those chocolatinis the lobby bartender knew to keep making for me! Leaving Monday was a little sad. Met so many cool people considering when we started the trip not really knowing anyone. I had a really good time & loved the experience so I would definitely go again!
I was able to check a bucket list item off!! I participated in the Disney Star Wars 10K last weekend. And I didn’t die!!! In fact I did much better than I anticipated so I was very pleased with myself. My practice 10K last month I did in 1:20 without any stopping. This time I finished in 1:14 & that was with 2 character stops (I just couldn’t pass up a photo with R2 D2!) and a bathroom. I did more running this time (maybe about 5 miles I am guessing?) so that was impressive all in itself. Huge shout out my friend Heather who did this crazy experience with me. Huge shout out to my trainers & the workout programs at the gym…I am not a runner so my “training” for this was trying to walk a lot & the cardio within my gym classes (and we don’t do a lot of just running).
Isn’t the swag pretty? That medal is serious business. Like a potential weapon if need be! And I was the very first person to meet Darth Vader at 3:30am. Yeah we were the crazy people who got there extra early to meet characters pre-race cause let me say those lines got crazy ass long once a couple busses of people arrived. The people watching was awesome! So many creative cool costumes & everyone was very supportive of each other during the race. My BB8 costume was a little less popular since this was a “Dark Side” race & people were mostly in black & those characters. My friend was R2 D2 & there weren’t many of those either so it did make finding each other easier. lol Oops my bad…I like Star Wars, but am not a hard core fanatic. Although I did learn quite a bit over the weekend & am looking forward to the new Solo movie coming out.
I am already contemplating signing up for it again next year. I thought about trying another Disney 10K since I enjoy Disney so much, but I heard the other races aren’t nearly as well themed or organized (holy crap were they organized for this!). Plus I really enjoyed running thru the 2 parks (Hollywood Studios & Epcot) rather than just on the roads. I think they pushed the sign up date to August which is good so I have time & to see if others want to join. The sign up was so early for this event (like 11 months) that at times I was like wtf did I do? lol I have new goals if I do it again & isn’t that the point of a bucket list? To keep adding & reaching for more things in life. 😁
Whew…things have been happening here. Unfortunately it seems when life is going well I don’t write as much which is a bummer cause so many good things have been happening. Whereas when life is a shit show I get that all down on paper. lol
March went by FAST! Hanging out with friends, having fun, organizing the new kickball team for Wednesday, getting trips for later this year planned, getting ready for my upcoming Jamaica trip. I even managed to do a little dating! Since the start of the year I have had various guys wanting to have fun but never knew what was going on or where it was going. So I have sat back & had a good time, but refused to get more involved if they aren’t pursuing. As I tell people when asked “I have a lot of pretty BOYS hanging around, but I am looking for a MAN who is going to step up” (which my guy friend said was pretty accurate & a good response). Well…Jay has stepped up. lol He is the guy from Wednesday night kickball that invited me out for drinks. And then we had drinks again after kickball. So when kickball was cancelled 2 weeks ago he asked me out to dinner I was impressed. Progress right? I had a good time & we’ve hung out more at the games too. This past Friday we had an off night for kickball in the other league so he asked me to dinner again! Had a really nice time getting to know him & talking. Plus he’s pretty darn good looking & I love his eyes so chatting with him is easy. Afterwards we went out to a bar where his friends were for some karaoke & hanging out. It was a fun night! I won’t lie–we got back to his place & things got going which I was fine with. I was like now or never girl cause let’s be real…it’s been a year & a half. Yup…the hooha had a party as my BFF & brother put it the next day (apparently we all share waaay too much with each other lol). He took his clothes off & I was like DAMN BRAVO applause, but I kept it inside. Luckily my diet has been going well (down 18 lbs last week) so I was feeling pretty good body image wise. Let me say it was a good time & I definitely want more! We have texted & talked over the weekend which is nice. I am trying to be positive & not let my anxiety kick in thinking of all the bad stuff that could happen or be happening cause I imagine it in my head. I’ll see him Wednesday at kickball which I am looking forward to.
Now on the other hand work has been a bummer. I found out I wasn’t even offered a job interview for the job I had applied for because I don’t have a bachelors degree. WTF? Apparently 15 years in the field plus all my other years of work experience wasn’t enough. I don’t know how classes I would have taken 20 years ago would even be relevant today & it doesn’t matter what the degree is in, but I don’t have one so I wasn’t qualified. Ridiculous if you ask me. But it made me rethink my current job & situation. My job is stable (public sector), I am union protected (can’t be fired), I have good hours (no weekends), I have good benefits (I pay minimal amounts for good coverage), vacation & sick time every month, I do actually enjoy what I do plus I do make good money. Add in my house rental income plus money I make at my side job…I am doing really well! They have taken away duties I was doing that wasn’t part of my job so actually my job has been much easier & enjoyable the past 2 months. So why rock the boat? I’ll just keep riding this out & if anything of interest comes along I’ll check it out.
I am in the count down to my Jamaica trip in May for my friend’s wedding! My girl up north who’s coming with is getting excited as well & we are both on the gym routine right now hard core so encouraging each other. I have found a dress I like, but I am not sure if it’s THE one though so still looking. I do have all my swim suits in order cause we know that IS important!
So I am just giving things time. Time to see what happens. Time for things to happen. I am not pushing or rushing anything. I have lots of plans coming up which I am excited about & just waiting for them can be hard, but it’s ok. My brother John has been great about letting me talk when I need to & be stupid irrational crazy get it out of my system. Living at his house has really been so good for me.
That’s how I’m feeling today. No real plans. Blah weather. I’m in the mood for something but I couldn’t tell you what??? 🤷🏼♀️
Right now I’m starting at the car dealership to get my tire replaced. Yup that’s the 3rd tire with a nail since this spring. I have no idea where I’m driving or parking that this is suddenly such an issue for me. Thank goodness for that tire warranty!!!! 🙏
Not sure what my next stop will be. We’re getting a lot of rain. ⛈ Not sure if that’s an off shoot from hurricane Harvey? I feel like just poking around & seeing what I find. This is rare for me cause usually I have everything so scheduled if I want to do anything.
Here’s to hoping everyone has a wonderful weekend! 💙💜❤️
It’s had been a crazy amazing hectic time up here. Weather has been great (or so I’m told cause this FL girl has been freezing at times!), people charitable (it was a big fundraiser) & overall just so nice escape.
The reason I’m here for work has been jam packed & a full schedule, but a lot of money has been raised for the charities (almost $20K!!). Very exciting to see the impact the money raised last year has done & to know even more has been raised this year is inspiring.
Staying at my friend’s farm is always so refreshing. Lots of open space & green grass. The views off the deck just make you step back & relax. It’s a great place for me to come & recharge. Things seem so much more simple. Amazing how people always complicate things. 😂
I’m ready for my early morning of travel. The airport doesn’t even seem awake yet either. Looking forward to getting back home. I feel recharged after seeing friends for a week & ready go. Unfortunately my Fitbit broke yesterday so I’ll need to order a new one. At least a new one will have a warranty again!