I type this as I’m flying back south after a weekend visit to Chicago. Less than 48 hours there, but an interesting trip for me. The reason for this trip was the wedding (the bachelorette party from last month) & as a bonus I got to see my dad for Father’s Day!
It started Friday after work. First flight was fine. Delays all over at the next airport which wasn’t affecting me initially, but eventually my flight was 40 minutes late leaving. Whatever. I wasn’t in a time crunch & I wasn’t going to be bothered by something I can’t control. Holy cow other people were super pissed though so I enjoyed dinner at my gate & some late evening entertainment! I landed really late, got my Lyft & made it to the hotel by 1:30am so not too bad. Yay!
Saturday morning after being up over 20 hours & with the time change I only got a few hours nap we’ll call it. Since it was 8am & I didn’t have to be ready for the wedding shuttle til 3pm…I went to the hotel gym. I know? Who the fuck am I?? I have become the weird person who works out AND LIKES IT on vacations. 🤷🏼♀️ I then went to breakfast at the restaurant & enjoyed a leisurely meal before I went back to nap some more & get ready. I pondered the pool but it was indoors and didn’t have good chairs to read or sleep on.
As I sat there eating breakfast I realized how much I have changed. I came all by myself on this trip (not even meeting up with my BFF as my wedding date), hadn’t spoke to anyone (outside of hotel or airport interactions) since I left work Friday & was actually doing things (not just hiding in my room) AND I WAS OK WITH IT. Ding ding. Wow big girl moment! I dare say I felt quite at ease and comfortable with my own company. I am always surprised when people tell me they won’t do things on their own cause it makes me then wonder how little I would be doing if I hadn’t adopted the just do it mentality 5+ years ago? Honestly I didn’t always feel comfortable or I’d feel very self conscious doing things solo especially if it was a couples or group type thing but I just kept pushing myself to go rather than miss out. Eventually I just ignored the feelings & did whatever it was. But this was the first time I honestly could say I was comfortable with being by myself.
The wedding Saturday by the way was amazing! It was outside at an estate in a very upscale area and all top notch. I got to see the girls I met last month all gussied up plus several friends I hadn’t caught up with since I moved so it was very enjoyable. The bride & groom were a beautiful couple and I am so happy everything was perfect for them! Except the bloody heat & humidity. It was sweltering sitting there for the ceremony so I can only imagine how the wedding party felt standing. Seriously I never want to hear anyone bitch about Florida heat again! I mean if you are in the center of the state or some shithole area by all means but you brought that on yourself honey. I live on the Gulf & we have breezes and there’s never been a triple digit day. Now the Chicagoland area…they are having severe heat watch or whatever they call it & it’s like the face of the sun trying to breathe. I don’t miss any of that! I’m so happy to be on the plane headed south right now 🤣
I was a bum this morning. I considered working out again, but that would make 4 days in a row when I get home which I’ve learned doesn’t work for me. I need a recovery day if I want my workouts to be effective. My parents picked me up at the hotel & we went for Father’s Day lunch on the way to the airport. I was so happy to see my Dad today as I haven’t gotten to spend it with him in the 5 years since I moved. Plus I haven’t seen him since November for his birthday. We talk on the phone and stay in touch regularly but it’s just not the same. The parents are going on a vacation next week but I encouraged Dad at least (mom’s working) to come visit even for a few days after that so maybe.
All in all it was a great trip! I realized I’ve had a lot of personal growth which is good to see. I’m happy to be heading home though. I upped my gym membership this month & I’m having my food delivered again this week. I need to get back on track for my weight goals. I was so close and the last 2 weeks its gotten ugly. 😖 All on me & I know it so time to get serious again. The 4th of July is mygoal now!
Whew…things have been happening here. Unfortunately it seems when life is going well I don’t write as much which is a bummer cause so many good things have been happening. Whereas when life is a shit show I get that all down on paper. lol
March went by FAST! Hanging out with friends, having fun, organizing the new kickball team for Wednesday, getting trips for later this year planned, getting ready for my upcoming Jamaica trip. I even managed to do a little dating! Since the start of the year I have had various guys wanting to have fun but never knew what was going on or where it was going. So I have sat back & had a good time, but refused to get more involved if they aren’t pursuing. As I tell people when asked “I have a lot of pretty BOYS hanging around, but I am looking for a MAN who is going to step up” (which my guy friend said was pretty accurate & a good response). Well…Jay has stepped up. lol He is the guy from Wednesday night kickball that invited me out for drinks. And then we had drinks again after kickball. So when kickball was cancelled 2 weeks ago he asked me out to dinner I was impressed. Progress right? I had a good time & we’ve hung out more at the games too. This past Friday we had an off night for kickball in the other league so he asked me to dinner again! Had a really nice time getting to know him & talking. Plus he’s pretty darn good looking & I love his eyes so chatting with him is easy. Afterwards we went out to a bar where his friends were for some karaoke & hanging out. It was a fun night! I won’t lie–we got back to his place & things got going which I was fine with. I was like now or never girl cause let’s be real…it’s been a year & a half. Yup…the hooha had a party as my BFF & brother put it the next day (apparently we all share waaay too much with each other lol). He took his clothes off & I was like DAMN BRAVO applause, but I kept it inside. Luckily my diet has been going well (down 18 lbs last week) so I was feeling pretty good body image wise. Let me say it was a good time & I definitely want more! We have texted & talked over the weekend which is nice. I am trying to be positive & not let my anxiety kick in thinking of all the bad stuff that could happen or be happening cause I imagine it in my head. I’ll see him Wednesday at kickball which I am looking forward to.
Now on the other hand work has been a bummer. I found out I wasn’t even offered a job interview for the job I had applied for because I don’t have a bachelors degree. WTF? Apparently 15 years in the field plus all my other years of work experience wasn’t enough. I don’t know how classes I would have taken 20 years ago would even be relevant today & it doesn’t matter what the degree is in, but I don’t have one so I wasn’t qualified. Ridiculous if you ask me. But it made me rethink my current job & situation. My job is stable (public sector), I am union protected (can’t be fired), I have good hours (no weekends), I have good benefits (I pay minimal amounts for good coverage), vacation & sick time every month, I do actually enjoy what I do plus I do make good money. Add in my house rental income plus money I make at my side job…I am doing really well! They have taken away duties I was doing that wasn’t part of my job so actually my job has been much easier & enjoyable the past 2 months. So why rock the boat? I’ll just keep riding this out & if anything of interest comes along I’ll check it out.
I am in the count down to my Jamaica trip in May for my friend’s wedding! My girl up north who’s coming with is getting excited as well & we are both on the gym routine right now hard core so encouraging each other. I have found a dress I like, but I am not sure if it’s THE one though so still looking. I do have all my swim suits in order cause we know that IS important!
So I am just giving things time. Time to see what happens. Time for things to happen. I am not pushing or rushing anything. I have lots of plans coming up which I am excited about & just waiting for them can be hard, but it’s ok. My brother John has been great about letting me talk when I need to & be stupid irrational crazy get it out of my system. Living at his house has really been so good for me.
I decided January was pretty much just me getting ready for 2018 to start February 1st. So I’m a little delayed 🤷🏼♀️ Being sick wiped me out for several weeks and I finally started feeling better last week. But it gave me time to think and decide on a plan of attack moving forward.
My diet has to change. The weight has to go. 40 is coming & I refuse to start it like this! In January I upped my gym member ship to 3 days a week which was a good start, but my food intake is wildly out of control. 😭 So starting this week I am having pre-made meals delivered to home. The fat kid can’t be in charge cause obviously I have no control! I’m on day 3 of reduced calories and better eating…no one has died. Honestly though I feel better. And I’m not hungry. Amazing what properly planned meals can do and it makes it very simple which is also nice.
The Wednesday night kickball is going well. The team I was put on is really fun & we have a good time playing. It’s nice to meet a whole new set of people. The cornhole on Tuesday ended with us winning the finals!!! And we eliminated Joe on the way to the end which was an added bonus to the night. YAY!! 😝🏆 Not sure if we’ll play next season & have a month off so in the mean time I’m attending track workouts with my gym group on Tuesday nights. Gotta get those steps in!
Work is going ok. I’ve had some duties taken from me recently which I got upset about originally, but upon further thought it was stuff that wasn’t my job to do & now I’m freed up to do my actual job. It’s really improved the stress level for me having things simplified. Now my coworker is freaking out with all the added duties she has but hey…it wasn’t my choice. Hearing how cranky or unhappy she is makes me realize how bad I probably sounded. Glad it’s not me anymore!
Mom was just down here to celebrate her birthday. We went to Disney for a few days & had a really good time! Did the Aloha dinner and also did a tour at Magic Kingdom (take the Keys to the Kingdom tour–amazing!!). Our relationship has really improved. I’m hoping my parents will be back to visit again in the next few months. Dad is having knee replacement next week 🤞
It’s been a busy week so I’m looking forward to the weekend!
It’s had been a crazy amazing hectic time up here. Weather has been great (or so I’m told cause this FL girl has been freezing at times!), people charitable (it was a big fundraiser) & overall just so nice escape.
The reason I’m here for work has been jam packed & a full schedule, but a lot of money has been raised for the charities (almost $20K!!). Very exciting to see the impact the money raised last year has done & to know even more has been raised this year is inspiring.
Staying at my friend’s farm is always so refreshing. Lots of open space & green grass. The views off the deck just make you step back & relax. It’s a great place for me to come & recharge. Things seem so much more simple. Amazing how people always complicate things. 😂
I’m ready for my early morning of travel. The airport doesn’t even seem awake yet either. Looking forward to getting back home. I feel recharged after seeing friends for a week & ready go. Unfortunately my Fitbit broke yesterday so I’ll need to order a new one. At least a new one will have a warranty again!
Wowzers….it’s been a month. Sorry folks I am a bad blogger lately. Which is a shame cause I’ve had so much happen to share. So here’s some quick catch up which I’ll divide into 3 areas: before Canada, in Canada & back from Canada. 😊
So before I left in June for Canada I never did see Will again. I think his mom being here visiting and away from the kids for the 1st Father’s Day really got to him so the free weekend he did have (the one before I left) he went back to STL for kid time. Kind of a bummer cause I had tons of fun things happening he could have joined in on, but I also understood the need. On that note since we don’t have any commitment & have only hung out a few times I did have another guy ask me out so I went. We actually met at a mutual friend’s Memorial Day party & he asked her for my number (she asked me first). Met Mark for dinner on a week night cause I was days away from leaving. He seemed cool and we chatted awhile. I met him again for dinner the night before I left. Still unsure how I feel about him but I’m in no rush so left things with stay in touch the next few weeks.
Hung with friends at the beach and parties before I left. So much fun!! Glad to blow off some steam cause I knew the Canada trip was going to be hard work. Interesting side note…I got a friend request from a guy that turns out (yeah I do some checking before accepting) to be Joe the ex’s new roommate. Wtf??!! 😵 Initially I thought hell no deny that shit, but then I wondered what the game was so I waited. I spoke to this guy over 2 months ago once and to randomly send this now??? Like right after moving in with Joe? Hmmmm I did end up accepting the request but with setting restrictions so he can see only my public info. Have to see how this plays out. A few days later he followed me on other social medias that I do have public (I don’t post much personal info on those so enjoy 😂). Again it’s just weird.
Got my stuff packed and organized for Canada. Got my work organized as best I could for being out of the office over 2 weeks. The trip to Canada turned out to be nothing like the past 3 trips I’ve done previously. 16-18 hour days on your feet & oops oh you didn’t get lunch? I don’t mind hard work, but some appreciation and consideration is nice. I’ve also not been around CRAZY people in quite awhile. I stay away from that. I don’t work for that anymore. I’m not friends with that. And here I was unfortunately stuck in the middle of full on psycho crazy! Obviously next time I’ll be asking a lot more questions before I accept going on a trip like this again. I did get out of town for 2 weeks which in some ways was good. I could tell the drama was getting to me & I needed to break away. I got paid and that pays for the vacation I want to take next year so yay!!! I enjoyed Calgary again & would love to visit when I can do what I want and see the area. It really is an amazing place.
I got home last Monday. It took ALL day & 3 flights but I was back in my bed at 10:30pm. I slept a lot on the flights and on my layover in Dallas which helped. I’m just so body sore & my poor feet are a wreck. I figured it’ll take 2 weeks to recover and it looks like I’m right. I spent Tuesday running errands and catching up before returning to my real job Wednesday. And that actually hasn’t been as messy as one would have thought. Yay!! I did make it to the gym once and sort of muddled thru a workout of what didn’t hurt or was healing.
I had therapy appt last week. Which I felt pretty good! I could have probably used the visit before, but I sort of feel like a lot of my anxiety and stress is gone. Or I’m just so tired I don’t give a shit. 🤔 I told my therapist she would have loved the group I was with for 2 weeks and they made me feel VERY normal. We laughed a lot.
I spent this weekend low key. Kickball started up again so I had games Friday night and then I went out with my girl Jess. We had fun! Saturday I got some beach time in!!! Today I walked a little & ran some errands. Just being a bum and resting which feels good! I’ll get more on my routine this week which will be nice.
Life has been busy. This time of year always seems to be. Lots going on which is great, but I’m trying not to over do it either.
I worked my side job last weekend. Which it had been raining on off for like 2 weeks. That’s getting old! Will got back from his work trip & we had a great dinner Sunday night (date #2). It was a really nice way to wrap up the weekend.
Monday I played cornhole, but Tuesday it got rained out. Impromptu dinner with friends which I invited Will also. I figured he’s seen me dressed up nice twice so this was casual jeans stuffing down wings. 🤣 He wasn’t fazed at all which was nice to see. I am enjoying hanging out & slowly getting to know him. He went out of town again for a few days & now his mom is here visiting until next week. I told him if he needs a break he knows how to find me. 😉
I had therapy last week. I do enjoy meeting with her. I know I’ve made a lot of improvements since last summer, but sometimes all I see is that hot mess still. She keeps it in perspective & we talk out things. Between the gym & a bday party I had a FULL week! Definitely going low key this weekend.
Last night had a concert with the girls which was a blast!! Then we headed next door to the casino for a bit. I don’t play but it’s fun to hang & watch. Today I’ve been running errands which FL summer had kicked in. It’s hot! I really wish I could get some beach time. Perhaps tomorrow? I sent my dad his Father’s Day stuff this week so I’ll give him a call.
I leave next Monday for Canada for 2 weeks so I’ve been getting things organized for that. I’m trying not to leave it til the last minute to get ready, but you know in some way it always ends up that way. Even work I’ve been trying to get ready so it’s not a complete mess this week or when I return.
Tonight is a life celebration for a friend’s family member. But it’s at a bar & then the beach for sunset. Not sure what to expect. Maybe the bar is a good idea?
Vacation that is. Amazing how fast & slow time can go. I’m all packed & just enjoying the views before we get picked up for the ride to the airport.
Everything has really been great. The condo was awesome. Loved it, loved what it offered, loved the location. Perfect for us. Jaco has been a lot of fun to explore & see. It’s a good place to base out of. Our excursion to the Poas volcano & La Paz waterfall gardens with the animal refuge was AMAZING!!! I got so many great pictures. That’s exactly the kind of things I hoped to see. We ate at a lot of places in town & I tried things I wouldn’t normally at home. Last night’s dinner was squid & octopus which tasted so good!
If I come here again I really want to try surfing. I pondered it this week but having never done it before I wasn’t sure if my ankle was up to it yet. I went in the Pacific once. Wish I would have done that a little more but the beach sand here is very hot & coarse (yeah the beach at home has me spoiled 😂) so I stayed by the pool. Which was on the beach anyway so it was nice to hear the waves.
I have to admit I’m feeling pretty good in general. I’m not feeling any anxiety or need to get back home. I really do think it’s cause I’m with my friends who I’m used to being around. My FL brother has been great & his gf had her bday yesterday so we celebrated that! They get me & I’m very comfortable around them. The other couple I don’t know as well but had a good time with them. I do miss having my own bathroom though. Haha!!
Looking forward to work tomorrow & this weekend I have a few fun activities already planned so I’m definitely busy. BUT I’m going to be aware of not overbooking myself & getting run down like I did after the cruise. No relapses for this girl!!